


Burning Lungs

by lesbianwritingcorner



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Eating Disorders, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Manic Episode, Mental Health Issues, Minor Violence, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-11 15:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15975068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianwritingcorner/pseuds/lesbianwritingcorner
Summary: Junko gets pneumonia, Mikan's there to help.Too bad she doesn't want it.





	1. Loathing, Fever Dreams, and Chicken Noodle Soup

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mageofpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mageofpie/gifts).



> me, to myself: hey ryae, you ever gonna finish one work before you start a new one  
> me: haha of course not 
> 
> i had One (1) idea for a good sweet fic and of course, i had to jump on it asap because that's just who i am at this point
> 
> this is a gift for my good pal!!!! they got me into dr in the first place, and made me love these characters so much with ever fiber of my tiny gay being, so i hope u enjoy this dude
> 
> this is for you dude, godspeed, get ready for some gay times and sad times 
> 
> this shit is gonna be long, it's gonna get Real with junko's fever dreams into the past, you've been warned 
> 
> not beta'd so any mistakes are mine bc im a dumbass!!

**Day 1: Early Afternoon**

 

“How bad is it?”

 

“U-Uh…O-Oh goodness. 104.5 degrees.”

 

“That’s really bad, isn’t it?”

 

“I-It explains wh-why she passed out…”

 

Junko was slowly regaining consciousness, but couldn’t open her eyes. Her entire body felt heavy and sluggish. Her chest felt like it was on fire. She was cold. So, so cold. But her body was so warm. Her head was slowly caving in on her brain, she was sure of it. 

 

She felt her sister’s hand press to her forehead. It was incredibly frigid on her burning skin. Mukuro’s hand recoiled from her warmth. 

 

“Yeah. She’s really hot.” She heard her sister take a couple steps back. “How long does she have to stay here?”

 

Another hand was pressed to her forehead. This hand was clammy and warmer than her sisters. It gently smoothed away her bangs in a loving gesture. 

 

“S-She’ll n-need to st-stay he-here a wh-while. She’s too w-weak t-to even w-walk, a-and sh-shes probably contagious.” The hand was removed after a moment. 

 

Contagious? What the fuck were they talking about? 

 

By the sound of it, she was probably really fucking sick. She remembered walking into class. She walked in with Mukuro. Junko hadn’t been feeling well for a few days, but had shrugged it off as a simple cold. The fashionista had horrible seasonal allergies and the weather couldn’t seem to pick a side in the transition between summer and fall. Next thing she knew, she was here. She was probably in the nurse's office, if she had to guess. 

 

A harsh cough built up in her chest. She coughed against her better judgement. She was still too weak to open her eyes, and her body wracked up with each disgusting sounding cough that left her lips. It hurt so bad. The clammy hand was on her back again. Junko would’ve cringed at the sweatiness if she had the strength. She collapsed onto the bed after the cough melted away into her lungs. Her lungs struggled to expand in the aftermath. How the hell did she get so sick?

 

“Contagious?,” she heard Mukuro ask. Her usually emotionless older sister sounded genuinely worried about her. She felt the bed springs creak as Mukuro sat next to her. Her sister stroked her hair soothingly as she wheezed quietly for air. 

 

“Y-Yes. F-From t-that cough, a-and the h-high fever, i-it’s probably pneumonia. H-Has sh-she h-had h-her sh-shots?,” the timid voice asked. Mukuro continued stroking her hair. Junko suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. She’d traveled around the world as a famous model. Of course she had her fucking shots. What a stupid question. 

 

“Of course she has. We travel internationally. It’d be idiotic for Junko not to be vaccinated.”

 

“O-Of course! I-I’m s-sorry, I-I just have to a-ask!,” the voice squeaked. Junko heard Mukuro let out a heavy sigh. 

 

“So, how long exactly does pneumonia take to heal?” There was a small pause. 

 

“T-Two weeks or s-so. T-To be co-completely safe. H-Her case i-is especially b-bad,” she explained matter of factly. Junko felt Mukuro tense beside her. 

 

“That long? You can’t just give her a shot to make her better? You’re the Ultimate Nurse!,” Mukuro growled. A weak groan escaped Junko’s lips. Two weeks?!? She couldn’t be laid up for two weeks! She was supposed to go to Europe next week. Was she just supposed to cancel her shows because she was sick? Fuck no she wasn’t. 

 

“I-I’m s-sorry! B-But i-if you d-don’t let her r-rest, s-she’ll g-get worse!,” the nurse explained. She seemed almost fearful of her sister. Good. Mukuro wasn’t the Ultimate Soldier for nothing; even though her sister loathed the title. “I-If s-she d-doesn’t rest a-and g-get fluids, s-she c-could even d-die i-if the i-infection spreads!” 

 

Mukuro’s hand stopped stroking her hair. She felt her sister grow rigid. 

 

“You’re serious?” 

 

“Y-Yes. P-Pneumonia i-is v-very serious.” 

 

The room was silent. She felt Mukuro stand from the bed. She whimpered against her better judgement. Mukuro couldn’t leave her alone with this, this _weirdo_ with sweaty hands. Her sister brushed her bangs off her forehead with her icy fingers soothingly before backing away. 

 

“I trust you’ll take good care of my sister. I’ll be stopping by frequently to check on her progress,” Mukuro instructed, thought it sounded more along the lines of a threat. They were twins; their bond was sacred. Mukuro was especially protective over Junko, being the older sister. 

 

“O-Of course! I-I will be s-sure t-to i-inform you i-if she gets w-worse a-as well!,” the nurse promised. Fatigue began to overtake her. Being dangerously sick took a lot out of you. She felt her sister’s lips on the top of her head as she leaned down next to her. 

 

“I’ll be back tomorrow Junko. Feel better,” she whispered. Her sister stood up and turned away. Junko heard her ratty old shoes scuffing the floor as she exited the nurses office. 

 

Stupid Mukuro. Leaving her alone to deal with the fucking nurse. What a shitty sister. 

 

She almost wanted to cry. 

 

An intense shiver wracked her body. God she was so cold. How could she be so warm, yet so cold? It didn’t make sense. Did pneumonia make logic disappear? She felt the sweaty hands on her again. Her arm moved up to swat them away. She could barely even lift her hands. 

 

“Y-You m-must be r-really cold,” the nurse cooed softly. The hands moved off her back. Junko weakly curled into a tight ball on her side. Stupid Mukuro. She should’ve stayed. Why didn’t she stay?

 

Why was she getting so upset about it?

 

She heard shoes squeak as a heavy blanket was laid over her. It provided immediate warmth. The nurse sighed happily. 

 

“Th-There you g-go. N-Nice and w-warm.” She sounded relieved. Severe exhaustion washed over her as she began to lose her grip on consciousness. 

 

Maybe she would wake up to find this was just a stupid dream. 

 

————-

 

**Day 1: Late Evening**

 

Great. Now she was hot. Excessively hot. 

 

Junko whined loudly as she regained consciousness. She felt worse than before, if that was even possible. Her body felt heavier, her limbs achier. She was completely drenched in sweat from head to toe. A cool, damp cloth had been placed on her scorching forehead. 

 

Why did being sick have to be so disgusting? 

 

Junko slowly blinked open her eyes. She squinted them at the dim light that was filling the room. Her eyes scanned the office. It was neat and tidy; not a bandage was out of place. It reeked of antiseptics. 

 

She spotted the nurse for the first time. 

 

The Ultimate Nurse was sitting attentively next to her bed in a cheap folding chair. She was petite and anxious looking. She was adorned in an itchy looking wool sweater, a pair of high waisted jeans covered in cheap patches, and typical white nurses shoes. An apron was draped over the back of the chair. Junko spotted several hot pink band aids on her fingers, and a couple on her cheek and the bridge of her nose. Her left arm was wrapped in a thick gauze bandage. She had messy and choppy dark purple hair. Her bangs were so uneven Junko wondered if it was a blind person that had hacked away at the poor girl’s hair. 

 

She was so plain looking. 

 

Just as she expected. 

 

The nurse was sucked into whatever book she was reading. Junko squinted her eyes to read the title.  _ Unusual Hauntings.  _ So she was a freak. Figures. Of course Mukuro would leave her with a freak. 

 

Where  _ was  _ Mukuro? 

 

She said she’d be back to see her. Was it tomorrow already? She didn’t even know what time it was. 

 

Junko felt utterly pathetic as she closed her eyes and curled back up on her side. 

 

“Muku…you fucking idiot,” she mumbled weakly. The nurse perked up at the sound of Junko’s voice. 

 

“A-Are you a-awake?,” she asked meekly. Junko didn’t respond. She squeezed her eyes tighter. She didn’t want to talk to her. She wanted to go back to her dorm. “G-Guess not.” The nurse almost sounded disappointed. Desperate. 

 

Junko suddenly felt  _ bad.  _

 

It was loneliness. 

 

It was a weird feeling. She had only felt like this once in her entire life. But it was a feeling so sickening it made tears spring up in her eyes. 

 

Junko was the master at forcing herself to cry. She did it to get her way constantly as a child, and even now as a teenager. She knew how to garner sympathy from the stoniest individuals. 

 

But genuinely crying was a different story. 

 

It made her feel weak. Stupid. Pathetic. 

 

She bottled it up until she exploded. 

 

Maybe it was because she was deliriously ill. She just wanted her sister here. Not the stupid, stuttering nurse. Why was Mukuro being so selfish? What was more important than her?!

 

Frustrated tears leaked from her eyes. Her body tensed and shook from anger. 

 

“ _ Fu-Fuck this,”  _ she spat hoarsely. Her voice was barely audible. 

 

She heard the nurse shut her book. The cheap metal chair creaked as she stood up and moved around to the other side of the bed. It only fueled Junko’s anger. Great. She was going to see her crying like a fucking moron. If she asked, she just say she didn’t feel good. Easy peasy. She should be the Ultimate Liar. 

 

The nurse knelt next to her face and softly gasped. “Oh-Oh, y-you m-must feel r-really b-bad h-huh?,” she asked. Junko squeezed her eyes shut and attempted to turn away from her. Her body suddenly decided to weigh 1000 pounds; she couldn’t move. It was too hard. It only increased her frustration as she began to sob pathetically. The nurse rested her clammy hand on her forehead and winced. “Y-Your f-fever s-still feels v-very high.” Her hand moved from her forehead to her cheek. Her band aid covered thumb brushed away her tears in one gentle gesture. “D-Do y-you w-want m-me t-to get you a-anything?”

 

Junko recoiled from her touch. 

 

“Leave me alone,” she whimpered stubbornly. Chills raced through her body as she shivered involuntarily. Great. Here we go again. Junko fumbled for the blankets. The nurse beat her to it and pulled them up around her. 

 

“I-I’m s-s-sorry for bothering y-you!,” she squeaked. “I-I j-just heard you c-crying, a-and I g-got w-worried,” she informed. Junko buried her face into the blankets and scrunched up her nose. 

 

“Don’t be,” she grumbled. The loneliness flooded her again. “W-Where’s Mukuro?,” she inquired weakly. The nurse sat back down in her chair. 

 

“S-She w-went b-back to class af-after she dr-dropped you off. Sh-She came by a little earlier w-when you w-were sleeping,” the purple haired woman informed. Junko grew even more frustrated. She wanted to see her right now and demand she get out of here. She could take care of herself just fucking fine. 

 

“I want to leave,” Junko demanded. The model tried to sit up in bed. The nurse squeaked and gently guided her back onto the bed. 

 

“Y-You ca-can’t, M-Miss Enoshima! Y-You’re v-very, very, very sick!,” she protested. Junko froze. 

 

She’d never been told no. 

 

And that pissed her the fuck off. 

 

“Fuck you,” she growled raspily. She tried to pry the nurse’s scrawny little arms off her. The young woman was stronger than she thought. Her hands kept Junko pinned onto the bed despite the woman’s best efforts. She let out a frustrated groan as she tried one last push…and erupted into a fit of coughs. Junko doubled over in pain as her entire body seized with violent spasms. Each cough made her lungs shrink. The nurse rubbed her back in calming circles. She gave a few final hacks as her lungs shriveled into her chest. The nurse eased her back onto the bed and covered her up. 

 

“A-Are y-you ok-okay? T-That was a r-really n-nasty f-fit.” Junko narrowed her eyes at her. She opened her mouth to spit some snide remark, but her voice was gone. Her eyes widened. 

 

“F-Fuck-,” she croaked out. Her voice was barely above a whisper. The nurse frowned and walked over to the sink. Junko couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. She let them close. Her chest heaved painfully as her lungs screamed with each breath. It hurt it hurt it hurt it hurt-

 

“H-Here, M-Miss Enoshima,” the squeaky voice guided. Junko weakly opened her eyes. The nurse held out a glass of water with a swirly straw in it. Junko almost refused, but the nurse urged the cup forward. “Y-You n-need fluids i-if you want to g-get better and l-leave,” she added. Junko rolled her eyes and leaned forward. The straw was infuriatingly hard to get into her mouth. The nurse ended up holding it for her while she placed her lips around the plastic and sucked up all the cool water. She didn’t realize how thirsty she was until after every drop of water was gone. The nurse looked overwhelming pleased with her. “G-Good j-job!,” she praised. Junko laid her head back down and closed her eyes. 

 

Everything was so hard. She hated it. She hated being weak. 

 

“G-Get s-some more r-rest,” the nurse sweetly urged. “Y-You'll-feel b-better if y-you g-get some good sleep A-And your s-sister will b-be back t-tomorrow, and I-I’ll be s-sure y-you’re awake w-when she c-comes in.” 

 

Junko curled into a ball and gripped the blankets. A muffled, unwelcome whine left her. 

 

“I-I-,” she started, but cut herself off. 

 

What if Mukuro just didn’t come to visit her?

 

What if she went on their trip without her?

 

What if she left her again?

 

It was such a stupid, hateful thought. 

 

But she couldn’t stop thinking it. 

 

A gentle hand stroked her hair. Junko relaxed against her better judgement from the loving touch. She was doing it all wrong; Mukuro ran her fingers through her hair and scratched her scalp, the nurse was just petting her like a fucking dog. 

 

But it was nice, nonetheless. 

 

Not that Junko would ever admit it. 

 

“I-I’m Tsu-Tsumiki M-Mikan b-by the way,” the nurse added without warning. Junko didn’t give a fuck about learning her name. But since she was probably going to be stuck here for the next two weeks, she might as well know it. It would get repetitive to just keep calling her ‘Nurse.’ 

 

Tsumiki Mikan. 

 

It was a pretty name for an average girl. 

 

She was too tired to keep herself awake. Tomorrow she would see her sister and convince her to let her leave. 

 

Easy peasy. 

 

————-

 

**Day 2: Very Early Morning**

 

It burned. 

 

Junko shot awake in a panic. Her lungs were going to explode. A choked cry left her as she burst into a hacking and wheezing fit. Tsumiki was at her side in a flash. The pitch black of the room only increased her fear. She couldn’t see anything. She coughed and coughed and coughed and coughed until she was practically gasping for air between each seize of her body. Tsumiki rubbed her back and spoke soothing words into her ear. 

 

It burned so bad. 

 

Not just the coughing. 

 

The anger. 

 

Mukuro should be here.

 

What if she died right now, and her sister wasn't even with her?

 

It seemed like an eternity before the coughing stopped. Drool and mucus coated the side of her mouth. She went to wipe it away, but barely managed to lift her hand before it flopped back down by her side. 

 

Tsumiki flipped the lamp on the desk and gave Junko a quick examination. She helped Junko sit up slightly as she listened to her breathing and heartbeat. Junko almost passed out a few times. She felt dizzy and disoriented as Tsumiki laid her back down. The nurse wiped the side of her mouth with a damp cloth and held a straw to her lips. 

 

“D-Drink slowly,” Tsumiki guided. Junko did as she was told; she was too exhausted to be stubborn. Tsumiki helped her lay back down once the water was gone. 

 

“M-Muku,” Junko whimpered, voice barely audible. She felt Tsumiki’s hand rub her shoulder.

 

“D-Do you w-want m-me t-to get he-her?”

 

She was out before she heard the question.

 

———

 

**Day 2: Morning**

 

“M-Miss E-Enoshima, Mi-Miss I-Ikusaba i-is here t-to see you!”

 

Junko groggily peeled open her eyes. They were practically crusted over from sleep. Ugh. Gross. Tsumiki gently shook her shoulder and smiled nervously when she opened her eyes. 

 

“G-Good m-morning! M-Miss I-Ikusaba i-is here!,” she announced happily. Junko felt her heart swell. 

 

It was stupid. 

 

She shouldn’t be this excited. It had only been a day since she’d seen her sister. 

 

Mukuro approached the bed and sat down beside her. She was dressed out of uniform in her brown leather jacket, patchy grey tank top, and ripped black jeans. Right, today was the first day of their vacation from school. 

 

And she was stuck in a hospital bed. 

 

Mukuro looked down at her and moved her messy bangs out of her eyes. 

 

“Did you sleep well, Junko?” 

 

Junko gathered her strength and wrapped her arms around her sister. She inhaled in the soothing scent of her sister’s ratty old jacket and felt her resolve melt slowly. 

 

She often teased Mukuro for her ‘odor.’ It was a running joke between them; Mukuro never took offense. It was how Junko showed her love. Unrelenting insults. 

 

But Junko had always been comforted by the scent of her sister. It was a mix of a bit of leather, sweat, dirt, and a splash of lavender due to her body wash. Sometimes she would wear a bit of cologne, but today wasn’t one of those days. She buried her head into her sister’s chest and squeezed her as tightly as she could muster. 

 

“I wanna leave. I hate it in here,” she whined. Mukuro wrapped her arms around her sister and hugged her back. Junko could feel Mukuro shooting daggers at Tsumiki without even having to see her face. 

 

“Tsumiki, you aren’t mistreating my sister, are you?,” Mukuro inquired in an eerily calm tone. Junko heard Tsumiki let out a panicked squeal. 

 

“O-Of c-course not!,” she yelped defensively. She lowered her voice. “I-I think she j-just misses you,” she admitted. “O-Or she’s bored.”

 

Junko wanted to hit her. 

 

She tightened her grip on Mukuro like she never wanted to let her go. Her sister did the same. 

 

“I see,” Mukuro mumbled bitterly. Junko suppressed a grin. Mukuro may be a bit of a moron, but she always knew how to get her out of shitty situations. “Well, try to keep her happy then.” Junko scowled at her words. No, no, no. This wasn’t going right at all. 

 

Mukuro wasn’t going to get her out of here. 

 

She didn’t care about her. 

 

She was going to leave her here. 

 

Junko tightened her arms around her sister and squeezed her tightly. Mukuro loosened her grip and leaned back. Tears welled up in Junko’s eyes; real tears. She choked down a sob as she looked up at Mukuro. 

 

Her sister’s face twisted into worry at the sight of her genuine tears. She turned to Tsumiki with a grim expression. 

 

“Can you leave us alone for a minute?,” Mukuro requested. Tsumiki looked up from her stupid book and seemed puzzled until she saw Junko’s tears. She snapped into attention and grabbed her book. 

 

“Y-Yes! Of-Of course!,” she squeaked a little too loudly. Tsumiki stumbled out the door, almost tripping on her own feet as she disappeared from Junko’s line of sight. Mukuro made sure she was gone before returning her attention to her sister. 

 

“What’s wrong?,” she questioned quietly. There was a confused look plastered on her face. Junko felt her heart seize. She needed to know. She had to ask. 

 

“Are…If I’m not better when our trip comes, what are you going to do?,” she inquired. She blinked through her forming tears and loosened her grip at Mukuro’s hesitance. 

 

Great. She  _ was _ going to leave.

 

Leave her here all alone for months.

 

“I don’t care about Europe, you know that. I was just going for you,” Mukuro assured. Junko felt relief overwhelm her. “If you’re still sick, I’ll stay here and help take care of you. You’re more important.” Mukuro brought her hand to Junko’s face and wiped away her tears. “I’m not going to leave you, Junko.” 

 

Junko sniffled and released her sister. 

 

She was such an idiot for even thinking Mukuro would leave again. 

 

“Good,” she forced out. Mukuro attempted a smirk; it looked more like a grimace. 

 

“And hey, try to be nice to Tsumiki,” her older sister added. Junko scoffed. 

 

“I am being nice,” she snipped. Mukuro rolled her eyes. 

 

“Sure.” 

 

“I am!,” Junko protested with a whine. Mukuro leaned down next to her and lowered her voice. 

 

“She just wants you to get better. It’s not her fault you’re stuck here,” Mukuro reminded. 

 

God. 

 

She hated when Mukuro was  _ right.  _

 

“Yeah, yeah whatever,” Junko grumbled. She wrinkled her nose when Mukuro kissed her forehead and stood up from the bed. 

 

“Are you going to be alright if I leave?,” Mukuro questioned. 

 

_ No.  _

 

“Ugh, yeah. What’s up? You got a hot date?” Mukuro’s face tinted red. Junko’s eyes widened in excitement. 

 

“Holy shit! For real?! Who is it?,” she squealed. A cough rose up in her throat and she attempted to suppress it. She failed miserably as the violent coughing returned with a vengeance. Mukuro was quickly by her side again, eyes panicked. 

 

“Tsumiki get in here!,” she called out. Tsumiki ran quickly into the room. She screeched to a halt by the bed and knelt on the other side of Junko. Junko flinched at the nurse’s hand on her lower back. Mukuro grabbed her hand and squeezed tightly as her sister fought through the coughs. 

 

“I…h-hate…t-this…,” Junko choked between coughs. She flopped back onto the bed and shut her eyes. Was she really going to be subjected to two full weeks of this bullshit? God, just let her die now. She heard Tsumiki and Mukuro murmuring to each other, but she wasn’t sure exactly what they were saying. 

 

“I’ll be back tomorrow Junko,” Mukuro finally spoke up. Junko squeezed her eyes tighter. She didn’t want her to leave. 

 

“Have fun on your hot date,” Junko mumbled bitterly. She heard Mukuro’s shoes scuff away as she exited the office. She opened her eyes to find Tsumiki back in the chair facing her bed. The smaller woman smiled nervously at Junko. 

 

Junko wanted to wipe that smile off her face. 

 

“I-I k-know you d-don’t l-like me,” Tsumiki admitted. Junko furrowed her brows. Was she really that obvious? 

 

“And?,” she countered. Tsumiki bit her lip nervously and stared into her book. 

 

“I-I’m sorry i-it h-has to be m-me th-that ta-takes care of y-you.” She turned the page in her book slowly. “B-But I-I’m the U-Ultimate Nurse, s-so it’s my job.” Junko wrinkled her nose up at the woman. 

 

“Are you going to stay here the whole time?,” she questioned. Tsumiki nodded reluctantly. 

 

“I-I h-have to monitor y-you co-constantly. Y-You c-could rapidly de-decline o-overnight.” Junko felt annoyance build up in her system. 

 

“Don’t you have anything  _ better  _ to do?,” she spat. Tsumiki smiled and shook her head. She didn’t look up from her book. 

 

“N-Not really. I-I en-enjoy looking a-after m-my patients. E-Even the grumpy o-ones,” she added in a teasing tone. Junko rolled her eyes and scoffed. 

 

“I’m not grumpy,” she protested. “I just feel like shit.” Tsumiki giggled. It was airy and anxious. And even a little cute. 

 

“A-And it’s ma-making you g-grumpy.” Tsumiki closed her book and set it next to her on the floor. “A-Are you h-hungry? Y-You m-must b-be st-starving, y-you h-haven’t eaten in a f-few days,” Tsumiki reasoned. Junko rarely had an appetite to begin with. But being ill had completely depleted it. She shook her head. 

 

“No, I’m not,” Junko mumbled.  Tsumiki looked puzzled as she stood up from her chair. 

 

“A-Are you s-sure?,” she confirmed. Junko nodded. At the moment she felt her stomach twist painfully. She ignored it and gritted her teeth. 

 

“Y-Yes,” she hissed through gritted teeth. Tsumiki picked up on her bullshit and shook her head. 

 

“I-Im g-going to make you s-some soup, o-okay? I-I’ll be right back,” she promised. She smoothed down her pants and walked out of the room. Her shoes squeaked with every step. If Junko didn’t feel so shitty, she might’ve laughed. 

 

Instead she rolled her eyes and settled down to rest. 

 

———

 

**Fever Dream: Nine Years Ago**

 

_ “Booooooooriiiiing! Come on Muku, I need a better idea!”  _

 

_ Her overwhelmingly dull sister looked up from her homework and shrugged.  _

 

_ “Give him spikes?,” she suggested plainly. Junko scoffed and returned to her picture. She squinted her eyes at the crudely drawn bear on her paper. She wanted her first creation to be the most badass thing any kid would ever lay eyes on. He was just missing a little…something.  _

 

_ “Spikes are lame too, Muku! God, why are you such a loser?” Mukuro scrunched up her nose.  _

 

_ “I’m not a loser, Junko. I’m just trying to help!” _

 

_ “Yeah, and your ideas suck!” Mukuro rolled her eyes at her younger sister and closed her math book. She stood up and peered at the drawing.  _

 

_ “He looks great, Junko.” Junko crossed her arms in a pout over her chest and leaned back in her chair.  _

 

_ “No. He’s too boring.”  _

 

_ “Everything’s too boring. Why don’t we go play outside for a bit? Or is that too boring too?” Junko grumbled to herself and let her chair legs rest back on the floor.  _

 

_ “Ugh, fine. You win. But you're pushing me on the swing.” Mukuro smiled softly.  _

 

_ "Of course." _

 

_ Junko stood up from her desk and started out the door with her sister.  _

 

_ Angry voices down the hallway stopped them.  _

 

_ Mukuro placed an arm across Junko to stop her. She cracked open their bedroom door to listen to the commotion.  _

 

_ Mommy and Daddy were fighting again.  _

 

_ “You told me that was the  _ LAST FUCKING TIME!,” _ Mommy screamed. Daddy was slumped in his recliner. His eyes were bloodshot and numb. He looked half dead.  _

 

_ “Well, I fuckin’ changed m’mind. ‘re y’happy? You were right 'll 'long. I'm a worthless piece o'shit!,” Daddy slurred out. Mommy grabbed his shoulders and shook him roughly.  _

 

_ “It’s the middle of the day! The middle of the fucking day! You’re going to lose your job if you keep getting sent home like this!” _

 

_ Junko’s chest squeezed painfully as she began to cry. No no no no no. He was bad again. He was going to hurt them again. Mukuro slammed their bedroom door closed quickly and led her sister to her bed. She grabbed her cheap music player their parents had gifted them on their birthday the year before. Junko fought back tears as Mukuro placed the headphones over her ears and turned on the music.  _

 

_ It wasn’t perfect, but it helped to drown out the screams and bangs from down the hallway. Mukuro grabbed Junko’s desk chair and wedged it underneath the doorknob.  _

 

_ She had to start barricading them in after Daddy had busted in and hit them.  _

 

_ Mukuro had broken his nose for it.  _

 

_ Not because he’d hit Mukuro.  _

 

_ But because he’d almost broken Junko’s arm.  _

 

_ Her older sister sat next to her on the bed and wrapped her arms around her. She leaned into her embrace and let the music soothe her.  _

 

_ Mukuro would always protect her.  _

 

_ Always.  _

 

——-

 

**Day 2: Afternoon**

 

“M-Miss E-Enoshima?” 

 

Junko woke in a daze. Had she really had a dream about her past?

 

She hadn’t thought about her parents in years. 

 

It was for the best. 

 

Tsumiki sat next to her holding a bowl of steaming soup. The smell made her want to gag. Just the _thought_ of eating made her sicker. 

 

Her growling stomach soon changed her mind. 

 

She gathered her strength and pushed herself up in bed. Tsumiki scooted closer and smiled shyly. 

 

Junko went to hold her arms out for the bowl, but they barely raised a few inches before she had to set them back down. Tsumiki noticed her attempts and shook her head. 

 

“I-I c-can f-feed you, i-it’s okay,” she assured. Junko thought she would die of humiliation right then. But she was too tired to argue. Her face burned as she gripped the sheets in her hands. 

 

“Fine,” she grumbled. Tsumiki appeared to perk up at her agreement. Junko watched as she dipped the spoon in the soup and held it up to her own lips. She blew on the hot liquid before bringing the spoon to Junko’s lips. Junko reluctantly opened her mouth and let the spoon slide into her mouth. She swallowed the the hot liquid and shuddered with it rushed down her throat and into her stomach. Tsumiki gave her a gentle, encouraging smile. 

 

“T-There y-you g-go!,” she praised. Junko suppressed an annoyed groan. She wasn’t a fucking dog. She didn’t need praise anytime she did a simple task. Her eyes narrowed as she opened her mouth again. Tsumiki placed another spoonful of soup into her mouth. Their cycle continued until the bowl was empty. 

 

Junko  _ did  _ feel better, though she wasn’t going to admit it. Tsumiki set the empty bowl on the corner of the counter and stood up to retrieve Junko some water. The nurse returned to her side with a full cup of water and guided the straw to her mouth. Junko gulped the water down and laid back down in bed with her back to Tsumiki. 

 

She didn’t want to see her. 

 

Tsumiki sat down next to her on the bed. She didn’t say anything for a moment. Junko could hear her begin to start a sentence, and then cut herself off. The pattern repeated multiple times. It was extremely aggravating to listen to. 

 

“What do you want Tsumiki?,” Junko finally mumbled. Tsumiki squeaked and moved off the bed. She stammered and stuttered until she found her words. 

 

“Y-Your hair i-is j-just g-getting t-tangled, a-andI-I was w-wondering i-if y-you w-wanted me to f-fix i-it for you!,” Tsumiki squeaked out. Junko’s hand moved up to her hair slowly. It _was_ already getting matted and tangled. Junko usually kept up with her hair on a religious level, but she obviously couldn’t do it if she could barely move. 

 

“Can you even fix hair?,” she inquired bitterly. She turned her head to glance at Tsumiki. The young woman twiddled her thumbs in her lap and nodded. 

 

“A-A little. I-I know the b-best hairstyles for c-coma patients. Y-You h-have to st-style their h-hair a c-certain way so i-it doesn't g-get m-messy,” Tsumiki admitted. She sounded a bit proud of herself. Junko sighed through her nose slowly and heavily. 

 

“Fine. Whatever. Just don’t make me look stupid. Got it?,” she spat. Tsumiki squeaked and nodded vigorously. 

 

“Y-Yes ma’am!” Tsumiki gave a little bow and ran to her bag. The little tote bag was filthy and covered in little buttons. Junko instinctively scrunched her nose up. Gross. She expected Tsumiki to take better care of her things. 

 

Tsumiki settled for grabbing her bag and dragging it behind her. She sat by Junko on her bed and rummaged through the tote bag. She pulled out a cheap brush with hair ties wrapped around the handle and wide toothed comb. 

 

“C-Can y-you turn on your s-side for me?,” Tsumiki nervously requested. Junko begrudgingly did as she was told and faced away from Tsumiki. 

 

She couldn’t believe this was her life now. 

 

Forced to be looked after by an absolute stranger while her sister fucked off God knows where. 

 

_ She  _ should be going on dates, goddammit. 

 

Tsumiki gathered all of Junko’s hair gently and began to run the brush through it. A soft sigh left Junko’s lips. For being a stuttering weirdo…Tsumiki had a very gentle touch. It was comforting; soothing. She liked it. 

 

Oh no. 

 

She  _ liked  _ it. 

 

The hair on the back of her neck stood up as Tsumiki rid her strawberry blonde hair of all its tangles. Her eyes fluttered shut peacefully. Tsumiki switched from the brush to the comb once her hair was tangle-free. She ran it through a couple of times before parting her hair down the middle. She felt Tsumiki’s nimble fingers begin to skillfully braid her hair. Junko felt at ease for the first time in a while. Usually only Mukuro could make her feel this way. But something about Tsumiki right here, in this moment, filled her with an overwhelming sense of calm. 

 

Tsumiki hummed to herself as she worked. A little smile formed on Junko’s lips. She quickly wiped it off her face and pressed her lips in a thin line. No, no. What was she doing? Tsumiki was annoying. An annoying, stuttering, averagely plain girl. 

 

With a pretty voice. 

 

She felt Tsumiki insert a few pins into her hair to keep whatever hairstyle she’d formed in place on her head. The nurse patted her shoulder to signify she was done. 

 

“D-Do you w-want to s-see?,” she asked. Junko scoffed. 

 

“Of course I want to see.” Tsumiki nodded and began to dig through her bag again. She pulled up a tiny, scuff covered pocket mirror and held it in front of Junko’s face. 

 

She looked beautiful. 

 

Tsumiki had arranged the braids in a sort of crown on her head. It made her look like a princess. Her heart swelled. She quickly forced the emotion back down and cleared her throat as she turned to the nurse. She held the mirror back out to her. 

 

“It looks really nice. Thank you,” she commented. Tsumiki smiled brightly. Junko noticed that one of her teeth were chipped. How did that happen? Had she always had it?

 

“O-Of course!,” Tsumiki exclaimed. “Y-You l-look very p-pretty M-Miss Enoshima!,” she complimented. Junko smirked and turned away from her. 

 

“I know.” 

 

She heard Tsumiki return the supplies to her bag and tuck it under the folding chair. She didn’t move from her spot directly beside Junko as she began reading again. Wasn't she going to move back to her chair? Junko turned her head to eye her suspiciously. She cleared her throat to get her attention. Tsumiki looked up from her book and tilted her head curiously. 

 

“Y-Yes?,” she asked sweetly. Junko felt her stomach twinge. Ugh. Why was she getting nervous now? 

 

“Are you going to start sharing the bed with me now?,” Junko questioned snarkily. Tsumiki squeaked in surprise and scrambled off the bed. 

 

“I-I’m sorry! I-I t-totally sp-spaced out! I-It won’t happen a-again! I-I’m such an i-idiot!,” Tsumiki rambled. Junko felt a tiny slimmer of guilt stab at her gut. 

 

“God, chill out! I was just-“ She swallowed hard. “I was just kidding, fucking hell. I don’t give a shit if you sit by me, just don’t hog the fucking bed, ‘kay?,” she tiredly ordered. Tsumiki had begun to tremble as she gave a quick nod. 

 

“A-Are y-you s-sure?” Junko rolled her eyes. 

 

“Yes I’m fucking sure. Just sit back down and read your weird book!”

 

Junko grumpily pulled the blankets over her head as Tsumiki sat back down next to her. 

 

Stupid Tsumiki. 

 

Stupid cute Tsumiki. 

 

She couldn't last two weeks of this. 

 


	2. Concussions, Coloring Books, and Cold Spoons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junko struggles with her inner demons in the form of fever dreams and a hot shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *clap clap* ITS ALREADY HERE *clap clap*  
> i love writing this, and since im still sick and lowkey dying, i had time today to churn out another fckin chapter  
> updates will definitely not be this frequent lmao, i just wanted to get this out before i had to go back to work  
> some characters are briefly mentioned in this, but not enough to be put in the tags lmao  
> this chapter is a bit touchy as it explores more of junko's past, and we get a glimpse into mikan's daily life  
> just be cautious, the tags are there for a reason  
> not beta'd, per usual, any mistakes are all mine  
> hope you enjoy!

**Fever Dream: Eight Years Ago**

 

_ Sleeping was impossible now.  _

 

_ She would stare at the top bunk for hours and hours on end until she finally passed out from exhaustion.  _

 

_ Junko didn’t understand how Mukuro could sleep through the yelling.  _

 

_ She was lucky that way.  _

 

_ Junko sat up in bed and held her teddy bear close to her chest. She stifled a sob as Daddy stormed down the hallway.  _

 

_ “Y’want me t’leave? FINE! ‘ll fuckin’ leave an’ your fuckin’ ass can live on th’ street. I support this family! You want t’support those fuckin’ kids?! Go RIGHT AHEAD!,” he screeched. Junko winced as their parents door slammed open. She squeezed her bear tighter as her mother began to sob.  _

 

_ “Junko,” Mukuro whispered.  _

 

_ Junko glanced up. Mukuro was dangling upside down off the top bunk. Her dark hair hung wildly around her thin face.  _

 

_ “Are you okay?,” she asked. Junko shook her head. Mukuro disappeared from sight. It only took a second for her sister to drop down from the top bunk onto the floor, landing flat on her feet. She never used the ladder to get onto or off of her bed. Her parents hated that about her. Junko held open the covers as Mukuro slid in next to her. She leaned into her sister’s warm embrace and squeezed her eyes shut.  _

 

_ “Is Daddy really going to leave?,” Junko whispered. Mukuro held her tightly and sighed.  _

 

_ “Maybe he should, Junko,” Mukuro admitted.  _

 

_ Their doorknob began to rattle.  _

 

_ Junko’s eyes shot open in fear.  _

 

_ No no no no no no no no. Not again. Not again. He wouldn’t hurt them again. Mukuro wouldn’t let him.  _

 

_ “GO AWAY!,” her sister snarled. Junko whimpered and shut her eyes. She held onto her sister like she would disappear if she let her go. The doorknob continued to rattle as their father began to kick at the door.  _

 

_ “L’ME IN! LEMME THE FUCK IN!,” Daddy screamed. Mukuro tightened her grip on Junko. She was holding her so tightly Junko was almost unable to breathe.  _

 

_ “GO AWAY! GET OUT OF HERE!,” Mukuro growled back. Mukuro was hardly ever angry. But she wasn’t going to let him hurt them again.  _

 

_ She would never want to be on the receiving end of her sister’s anger. Ever.  _

 

_ “God, leave them alone!,” Mommy cried out. The rattling stopped as Daddy stormed back down the hallway. She heard the front door open and then slam shut with so much force it shook the house. Mukuro didn’t loosen her grip on Junko.  _

 

_ Junko held back her tears.  _

 

_ “If he comes back, I’ll kill him,” Mukuro promised in a low voice. Junko was stunned. Would she really kill their father?  _

 

_ “You can’t,” Junko protested. “Y-You’ll go to jail, and I’ll never see you again.” She couldn’t hold back the tears as she began to sob. Mukuro squeezed her tightly in response.  _

 

_ “Hey, please don’t cry. I-I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I just…just  _ hate  _ him. I never want to see him again.” Junko took in a few shuddering breaths as she sloppily wiped her eyes.  _

 

_ “M-Me neither.”  _

 

_ “If he comes back, I’ll keep you safe, okay? No matter what. I’ll always keep you safe.” _

 

_ Junko rested her head on her sister’s chest and closed her eyes.  _

 

_ “O-Okay.”  _

 

_ ————- _

 

**Day 3: Very Very Early Morning**

 

Junko woke up in a panic. Her breath came out in frightened gasps. 

 

The past again? Why was she remembering it  _ now?   _ She rubbed her burning eyes sleepily and calmed herself down.  _ It’s probably from the fever _ , she convinced herself. 

 

She squinted at the clock on the wall. 3:30 in the morning. Had she really slept since yesterday afternoon? She shivered from the fever chills and snuggled into the blankets on her bed. 

 

She just needed to go back to bed. 

 

Get some rest. 

 

Get out of here. 

 

She fell back asleep within five minutes. 

 

————

 

**Day 3: Morning**

 

Junko woke up comfortably for the first time since she’d been in the nurse’s office. 

 

She sighed happily as she stretched her body ever so slightly. Her cheek rubbed against her pillow as her head stretched up with the rest of her body. 

 

Wait. 

 

When did her pillow get so soft?

 

And itchy?

 

Junko slowly opened her eyes. She looked around the room before her eyes glanced down at her pillow.

 

Her pillow…that reeked of antiseptic and citrus. 

 

No, not her pillow. 

 

She was laying on Tsumiki’s chest. 

 

Junko stifled a disgusted groan as she lifted her head and scooted away from the nurse. 

 

Tsumiki was slumped against the headboard on Junko’s bed. Her stupid book was open on her lap. Her mouth was slightly agape as soft snores emitted from her. A little line of drool trickled from the side of her mouth. 

 

Ugh. She was gross. 

 

Junko rolled over in bed and attempted to go back to sleep. But she was wide awake. A muffled groan left her lips as she heard Tsumiki stir beside her. 

 

She laid completely still and shut her eyes. The bed creaked as the nurse stood up off the bed and trudged to the bathroom inside the office. Junko opened her eyes and turned over. 

 

The other side of the bed reeked of antiseptic and an overwhelming aroma of citrus. Of course Tsumiki smelled like a hospital waiting room. She shouldn’t have expected anything less. She flinched when the bathroom door opened. Junko turned back over away from Tsumiki and shut her eyes. She heard Tsumiki’s little shoes squeak across the floor as she approached the bed. She resisted the urge to curse when the nurse’s hand touched her shoulder and shook her gently. 

 

“M-Miss E-Enoshima? A-Are you awake?,” she questioned meekly. Junko faked a yawn and turned to face her. Tsumiki had changed clothes for what she assumed was the first time since Junko had been in the office. She almost cringed at her wardrobe choice. A white knitted sweater with intricate pink patterns, loose fitting jean shorts, and knee high socks that didn’t match. One was lavender, the other was pastel pink and covered in darker colored hearts. 

 

Tsumiki’s lack of style made her want to cry. 

 

But it was so like her. 

 

“I am now,” she rasped out. The excessive coughing had worn her poor voice to the bone. Tsumiki frowned as her eyes widened. 

 

“I-I’m s-sorry! I thought y-you were al-already awake!,” she apologized. Junko sighed through her nose. She needed to be nice. She needed to be nice. 

 

“It’s fine,” she assured, though her voice wasn’t she convincing. Tsumiki clasped her hands in her lap nervously. Junko noticed her picking the skin around her thumb. It began to bleed a little. 

 

“I-I’m s-still sorry. Y-You n-need a-as much re-rest as possible. Y-You should go b-back to sl-sleep,” Tsumiki instructed. Junko narrowed her eyes. She couldn’t tell her what to do. 

 

“Well, I’m wide awake now. So really, it’s fine. I’ve been sleeping since yesterday,” she croaked. She cringed at the sound of her voice. It sounded atrocious. Tsumiki winced as well. She perked up as she remembered something. 

 

“I-I g-got you s-something!,” she happily announced. Junko suppressed a sigh. It was probably something stupid. Or medical related. Tsumiki dug around in her disgusting little tote bag until she retrieved what she was looking for. She held out a small little bag to Junko. Junko cautiously accepted the bag and turned it over in her hands. 

 

Yep. Medical related. 

 

“Cough drops?,” she asked hoarsely. Tsumiki nodded excitedly. 

 

“T-They’ll h-help your th-throat an-and cough. A-And they’re cherry f-flavored!,” she squealed. Junko popped open the bag and pulled out one of the little lozenges. She rolled it between her fingers as she unraveled the wrapped. She popped it into her mouth and tucked the bag under her pillow. It didn’t even taste like medicine; it was more like candy. She sucked on it thoughtfully and forced herself to smile. God. It was painful. 

 

“Thanks,” she responded. Tsumiki beamed at the word and nodded vigorously. 

 

“O-Of course! A-Anything to m-make you f-feel better!” She rummaged in her bag and pulled out a book. “I-I g-got you this t-too. M-Miss Ikusaba s-said y-you g-get bored v-very easily, s-so I-I got you something to h-help with t-that.” She held out a decent sized book. Junko raised an eyebrow. A book? She didn’t like to read that much. She barely read the material for school. Did Tsumiki expect her to pass time by reading some weird book she got for her?

 

Junko examined the book a little closer. She opened the cover and scrunched up her nose at the pack of colored pencils. Oh. It was one of those adult coloring books. She flipped through the pages and studied the intricate designs on each page. Tsumiki watched her with keen interest. 

 

“M-Miss I-Ikusaba s-said y-you liked them,” Tsumiki admitted. Junko nodded and closed the book. It was a nice gesture. She’d have to thank Mukuro for mentioning it later when she stopped by. 

 

“I do. Thank you,” she wheezed. Tsumiki giggled and picked up her own book. 

 

“Y-You’re we-welcome! I-If there’s a-anything else y-you need, to-or want, j-just let m-me know! I-I’ll do an-anything!” Tsumiki promised. She opened her book and began to read through it. She looked like she barely made progress from the previous day. Maybe she was a slow reader. 

 

She could understand that. 

 

Junko opened the book again and flipped through the pages. One of the designs on the page made her pause. A wolf's head made up of several different shapes. Mukuro would like it. She grabbed the pack of colored pencils and began coloring slowly. She couldn’t afford to mess up. She traced the lines darker before coloring in the shapes. It was a nice way to keep her focus, that’s for sure. 

 

Heeled boots clacked on the floor as someone entered the office. 

 

“Junkooooooooooo~!,” a preppy voice called out to her. Junko looked up from her work and felt an involuntary grin cross her face. 

 

“Hey, bitch!,” she greeted in response. 

 

It was Sayaka, her best friend. 

 

She closed the coloring book and tucked it under her pillow. Tsumiki had moved her chair to the desk by the bed and had continued her reading there. She seemed a bit more withdrawn today. Junko wasn’t going to push it though; it’s not like she gave a shit. 

 

Sayaka approached the bed and flopped down beside her. She was dressed more casually than usual in a older t-shirt and leggings. It was probably a studio day for her. 

 

“You didn’t have to come see lil’ ol’ me,!” Junko protested in a cutesy voice. Sayaka giggled and crossed her legs. 

 

“‘Course I did! God Junko, it’s so boring without you around. All I’ve been doing is sitting in my room trying to write new songs. And guess what?” She leaned into Junko’s ear. “They all  _ suck!” _  Junko smirked and shoved her friend away. 

 

“That’s because you suck at writing music,” Junko countered. Sayaka let out a scandalized gasp. 

 

“I do  _ not!  _  I suck at writing that super lovey-dovey ‘Mmmmmmm I just love being in love!’ stuff. I wanna write… _ sexy  _ stuff,” Sayaka admitted. Junko grinned. 

 

“Tell me more.” Sayaka blushed and looked behind her at Tsumiki. The nurse wasn’t paying them a lick of attention; she was too absorbed in her book. Junko could see her pale lips moving as she read to herself. 

 

Sayak leaned in closer. 

 

“I think I wanna do a solo career once this contract is up. Don’t get me wrong, I love the girls and what we do, but…” She trailed off and bit her lip. “There are other things I want to write about.” Junko’s grin only grew wider. 

 

“Do it! Get freaky as hell!,” she encouraged. Sayaka smiled brightly. 

 

“Yeah? Do you think it’d be good?” 

 

“Well, I never said that,” Junko teased. Sayaka scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. 

 

“Well, I think it’d be really good! And-“ She lowered her voice again. “And I could write songs about girls too,” she whispered excitedly. Junko’s eyes widened a bit. Since when did Sayaka like girls? Not that she gave a shit, it was just a bit of a surprise. 

 

“You’re gay?,” Junko whispered back. Sayaka blushed and shrugged her shoulders. 

 

“I like who I like. And lately there’s been a girl on my mind, so I wanted to write some songs about her,” Sayaka admitted. Junko nodded. It made sense. She wondered if her crush it was someone at the school. 

 

“A girl on your mind, huh? Anyone I know?,” she pressed. Sayaka’s face grew a darker shade of red as she looked down at her lap. 

 

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” Junko raised an eyebrow. 

 

“Yeah? Why?”

 

Sayaka bit her lip as a tiny smile crossed her face. 

 

“Mukuro and I went on a date yesterday,” she whispered softly. Junko’s eyes widened in complete and utter shock. 

 

“WHAT?!?,” she yelled. She began to cough a little from the exertion, but was able to tame it before it got out of control. Tsumiki looked up from her book, but Junko waved her off. The nurse squeaked and returned to her reading. “You went on a date with my socially inept sister?,” she asked, completely flabbergasted. Sayaka nodded. Her tiny smile had grown into a peaceful grin. 

 

“Yeah, I did. It was really nice. I thought she would’ve told you about it,” Sayaka commented. Junko rolled her eyes. 

 

“She hasn’t been in to see me yet. She mentioned something about it yesterday,” she lied. Junko had only found out because of the joke she made. Why didn’t Mukuro tell her? Was it because it was her best friend she was going on a date with? Junko didn’t give a shit. It wasn’t like she was madly in love with the pop idol. 

 

“You’re not upset, are you?,” Sayaka questioned meekly. Junko shook her head and forced a smile. 

 

“Of course not, you dumb bitch. I’m happy for you.” She leaned in a little closer. “But if you break her heart, I’ll have to kick your ass,” she threatened. Sayaka smirked. 

 

“I figured.” She glanced at her Smart Watch and sighed heavily. “Ugh. I have to go to the studio.” She reached forward and gave Junko a quick hug. “Try not to die without me, okay?” Junko scoffed and shoved her off her. 

 

“Fuck off.”

 

“Whore.”

 

“Slut.”

 

The two exchanged a laugh as Sayaka stood up and waved goodbye to Junko. 

 

“See ya later! I hope you feel better soon!” Her heeled boots clicked on the floor as she exited she office with swagger in her step. 

 

Junko groaned as she sunk down into the bed. Sayaka…and Mukuro? Had hell frozen over? Junko could see why Mukuro would like Sayaka. She was pretty, nice, popular, and most importantly: she was famous. Something about being famous made someone a little more enticing. But…why the hell did Sayaka like her sister? Mukuro barely spoke a word to anyone that wasn’t her. Junko wracked her brain for reasons. She couldn’t come up with any. 

 

Maybe Sayaka was into quiet girls. 

 

And Mukuro was her twin, so she obviously was pretty. She wasn’t drop dead gorgeous, but she could see someone finding Mukuro pretty. She had nice eyes.

 

They were scary sometimes though. Like a wild animals' . 

 

Junko sighed and sat back up in bed. She needed to think about something else. Her hand felt around under the pillow and she pulled out the coloring book and her bag of lozenges. She opened the book back up to the picture of the wolf, popped a lozenge in her mouth, and continued working. 

 

She was so fully absorbed in her work that she didn’t hear Tsumiki move back to sit beside her. Junko bit her lip in concentration as she worked on the eyes. Purple was a good eye color for a wolf. Mukuro would think it was cool. Purple was one of her favorite colors. 

 

“T-That’s really p-pretty,” Tsumiki cooed. Junko’s head snapped up to look at the nurse. Tsumiki was watching her with keen interest, a little smile on her face. Junko gritted her teeth. 

 

“Thanks,” she snipped. “It’s for Mukuro,” she added as an afterthought. Tsumiki smiled a little more. 

 

“I-I t-think she’ll l-like it,” the nurse commented. Junko rolled her eyes and went back to her work. She grabbed another lozenge and placed it into her mouth. She saw Tsumiki’s smile fade out of the corner of her eye as the nurse returned to her reading. Guilt began to overwhelm her. She needed to be nice. Tsumiki was probably lonely too. The least she could do was give her a chance. 

 

Just a one chance. 

 

“What are you reading?,” Junko started. She didn’t look up as she spoke, but she could feel Tsumiki instantly perk up. 

 

“I-It’s a-about we-weird h-hauntings a-around th-the world! R-Right n-now I-I’m r-reading a-about that do-doll A-Annabelle,” she informed Junko. Junko nodded, pretending to be interested. 

 

“Tell me more,” she demanded, voice a little too forceful. Tsumiki squeaked and continued. 

 

“Y-Yes ma-ma’am!” Junko heard the chair legs scrape against the floor as Tsumiki climbed onto the bed to sit beside her. The two were practically touching as Tsumiki showed Junko the picture in the book. Junko suppressed a snarky remark and looked up at the picture. 

 

The doll was definitely freaky looking with its red yarn hair and artificial smile. Junko had never liked dolls. They creeped her out. 

 

“Sh-She’s p-possessed by a d-demon,” Tsumiki continued. “T-They ha-have to k-keep her i-in this glass b-box s-so sh-she doesn’t h-hurt anyone.” Tsumiki sounded giddy as hell as she explained. It was clear she had an interest in the paranormal. 

 

“That’s freaky,” Junko stated. Tsumiki nodded and scooted away from her, but didn’t get off the bed. 

 

“I-I d-don’t k-know if I could ever g-go to t-the museum sh-she’s kept in. They h-have a-all kind of cr-creepy things there. B-But it c-could be fun, I-I guess,” Tsumiki chirped. Junko nodded and went back to coloring. She had to finish before Mukuro came to visit her. But Tsumiki wasn’t done rambling. “T-They h-have a bunch o-of haunted d-dolls, a-and cr-creepy masks, a-and there’s e-even an or-organ that pl-plays all by itself, an-and-" She cut herself off suddenly. “I-I’m s-s-sorry! I-I’m rambling, a-aren’t I? I-I’m so st-stupid!”

 

Junko was confused. Why was she freaking out all of a sudden? She looked up at the nurse. Tsumiki had shut her book and had started to get off the bed. 

 

“Hey, hey! What the hell are you getting so upset about?,” Junko demanded. Tsumiki looked back at her with tears in her eyes. Great. She was crying. 

 

“I-I’m s-s-sorry,” she whimpered pathetically. Junko’s heart began to ache. She knew that look in her eyes all too well. 

 

“You don’t…ugh. You don’t need to be sorry for talking about the things you like. I asked to hear about it, remember? So you’re fine. Stop crying,” she snipped. Fuck. Too harsh. “Please, it’s okay,” she spoke in a forcibly softer tone. Tsumiki blinked away her tears and sat back down beside her. 

 

“T-Thank y-you for forgiving m-me,” she thanked. Junko inhaled sharply. Don’t get mad. Don’t get mad. 

 

“I wasn’t even mad at you, Tsumiki. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Junko calmly corrected. Tsumiki opened her book without a word and sniffled. 

 

“O-Okay.” 

 

Junko sighed. Crisis averted. She really wanted to be nicer to Tsumiki. She seemed to have some bad shit she needed to overcome. 

 

The look in her eyes explained it all. 

 

Like a wounded animal backed into a corner. 

 

She went back to her picture. She noticed Tsumiki scooting closer to her, but didn’t say anything. Soon their shoulders were touching. Junko suppressed the urge to tell her to move. She looked down at the wolf. Just a little more color in the background and she’d be done. Junko picked out a handful of colors and went to work. 

 

She held the piece back when the was finished. It looked good. Mukuro would love it. Tsumiki peeked over and smiled. 

 

“Y-You d-did a g-good job,” she praised. Junko forced a smile. 

 

“Thank you.” She closed the book and placed it back under her pillow. She felt tired. This was the longest she’d been actively conscious in the last few days. Junko put the rest of her supplies back under her pillow and laid back down. She pulled the blankets around her and closed her eyes. 

 

“Sleep well,” Tsumiki murmured sweetly. 

 

———

 

**Fever Dream: Eight Years Ago**

 

_ “Higher Muku, higher!,” Junko squealed.  _

 

_ Mukuro obliged and gave her sister another big push on the swing, causing Junko to erupt in a fit of laughter.  _

 

_ “Hey Muku, dare me to jump?,” she called down. Her sister came into view in front of her. A look if concern crossed her sister’s face.  _

 

_ “No, I don’t!,” Mukuro called up sternly. “You’re going to hurt yourself!” Junko stuck her tongue out at her sister.  _

 

_ “Whaaaaat? I can't hear you? Did you say you wanted me to jump?” Junko swung her legs to give herself a little more momentum, and when she was at the highest point… _

 

_ She jumped.  _

 

_ She collided with the hard ground a little too soon. Her right hand went down to catch herself as she fell. Searing pain spread through her wrist as she clutched her hand to her chest. She wailed at the pain.  Mukuro was at her side in a flash.  _

 

_ “Junko! I told you not to jump!,” her sister exclaimed. Junko sniffled as hot tears rolled down her face. She clutched her throbbing wrist to her chest and watched as her sister knelt down beside her.  _

 

_ “I thought i-it would be c-cool,” she whimpered. Mukuro held out her hands. _

 

_ “Let me see your arm,” she instructed. Junko shook her head and held it tighter to her chest.  _

 

_ “N-No! Don’t touch it!,” Junko protested. Mukuro scooted closer and held out her hand again.  _

 

_ “I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to see how bad it is,” Mukuro promised. Junko shook with sobs as she held her arm out. Mukuro gently took it in her hands and turned it over. Junko whined loudly as a sharp pain spread through her wrist up to her fingers. She yanked it away from her sister’s grasp. Mukuro sighed.  _

 

_ “I don’t think you broke it. But we should tell Mom,” Mukuro suggested. Junko nodded.  _

 

_ “Is she going to be mad?” Mukuro shook her head.  _

 

_ “No, she won’t. I’ll handle it.” _

 

_ Mukuro stood to her feet and offered a hand up to her sister. Junko pouted and stayed in her spot.  _

 

_ “I think I hurt my leg too,” she lied. “It’s hurting really bad,” she added with a whimper. Mukuro’s eyes clouded with worry as she knelt down beside Junko and scooped her up in her arms.  _

 

_ “You’re gonna be okay, Junko,” her sister assured as she carried her inside.  _

 

_ She hated what she did.  _

 

_ She knew she was going to get hurt.  _

 

_ She just wanted attention.  _

 

_ If it meant getting hurt, so be it.  _

 

———-

 

**Day 3: Evening**

 

Junko shot awake. 

 

God, why couldn’t the past die?

 

She blinked her eyes a few times to clear the sleep from them and snuggled into her blankets. What time even was it? Time was an illusion to her at this point. 

 

She relaxed against the soft fabric of her pillow. 

 

No.

 

Not her pillow. 

 

Her head was resting on Tsumiki’s chest again. 

 

She went to move away, but the hand gently stroking her head made her pause. Her eyes traveled up to Tsumiki’s face. She was on the phone with someone. Tsumiki looked sick to her stomach. 

 

Junko closed her eyes and listened to her speak. 

 

“I c-can’t c-c-come s-see y-you this break m-mom, I-I’m sorry,” Tsumiki whimpered. Junko could hear the other person through the speaker. It sounded like a middle aged woman. She had a rough voice. It made Junko feel sick. 

 

_ “Why not, angel? You promised me you’d come stay a few weeks down here with me. You  _ promised _ , Mikan.”  _  Junko heard Tsumiki inhale sharply. She sounded scared. 

 

“I-I just can’t. I-I h-have a really s-sick patient at s-school,” she protested. Her hand traveled down the back of Junko’s neck before it went up to her head. It made pleasurable chills run down her spine. “S-She has pneumonia.” Tsumiki’s mother scoffed loudly. 

 

_ “Why doesn’t that piece of shit school take her to the hospital? You’re just a little girl, Mikan. You’re not a doctor. She needs to be seen by a real medical professional,”  _ the woman growled. 

 

Junko tensed. She heard Tsumiki sniffle. 

 

“I-I’m the U-U-Ultimate Nu-Nurse, mom. I-It’s my j-job. Besides, I-I don’t mind. S-She’s r-really nice,” Tsumiki protested. Junko felt her heart swell a bit. The good feeling didn’t last long. 

 

_ “Ultimate Nurse. Is that what they’re telling you to make you feel better about yourself? You’re not a  _ real  _ nurse, angel. You just like playing pretend.”  _ Tsumiki’s mother cleared her throat before she continued.  _ “I’m glad you’d rather take care of some sick whore than see me. Really means a lot to me.”  _

 

“I-I-I’m s-so-so-“

 

_ “God stop it! Stop that!  Speak like an adult, Mikan!,”  _ the woman screeched. Junko felt her heart stop. 

 

Tsumiki took a few shuddering breaths before continuing. 

 

“I’m…sorry, mom,” she spoke with some hesitance. Her mother sighed over the phone. 

 

_ “There we go, angel. You don’t have to be scared, okay? I just want what’s best for you. You aren’t going to get anywhere stuttering like that. You’ll never be a real nurse if anyone can’t understand you.” _

 

Junko was starting to get angry. 

 

Tsumiki didn't deserve this. 

 

“You’re right, mom. I-I’m so-sorry,” she whimpered. 

 

_ “Say that again. Clearly. God, do you do this with your teachers? How are you even doing in classes? Are you still having trouble reading? Or have you finally grown out of that?”  _

 

Tsumiki’s hands nervously weaved through Junko’s hair. It began to fall out of the braids, but Junko didn’t say a word. She laid as still as a statue. 

 

“I said,  ‘I’m sorry,’” Tsumiki spoke timidly. “And I’m doing better. I-I’m still meeting with that tutor. Nanami is v-very helpful and patient with me,” she promised. 

 

_ “Oh angel. You’re a smart girl. You always have been. If you just apply yourself a little harder, you’ll be cured, I can tell you that.”  _

 

“There’s n-no cure for dyslexia mom,” Tsumiki grumbled. Junko felt her heart sink. It only sank lower. 

 

_ “Did you just talk back to me?,”  _ her mother spoke in a dark tone. Junko stifled a whimper when Tsumiki’s grip tightened in a panic around her hair. 

 

“N-No m-ma’am! I-I w-w-was j-jus-“

 

_ “STOP IT MIKAN!,”  _ her mother screeched. She took a minute to compose herself.  _ “Good girls listen to their mothers. You’re a good girl, aren’t you angel?”   _

 

Junko felt something wet drop onto her face. 

 

Tsumiki was sobbing quietly. 

 

“Yes ma’am,” she whimpered meekly. 

 

_ “That’s what I thought. You’ve always been my good girl, haven’t you Mikan? _

 

“Yes ma’am,” she choked out. 

 

_ “Good, good. Well, I'm going to let you go. Rethink coming to see me, okay angel? I miss my little girl,”  _ she purred. 

 

“Okay.” 

 

_ “I love you Mikan.” _

 

“…Love you t-too.”

 

Tsumiki hung up the phone and burst into panicked tears. Junko laid still as the hand was removed from her hair. 

 

“S-Stupid, s-stupid, s-stupid…,” Tsumiki whimpered. "W-Why are you s-so stupid?!" The nurse sobbed painfully as she slammed her phone onto the desk. Junko slowly opened her eyes and turned her head up to face the poor girl. Tsumiki was gripping her choppy hair and yanking on it, hard. Very hard. Junko searched for words but couldn’t find any. Tsumiki looked down at her as she breathed heavily and froze in terror once she realized she was awake. “A-Ah! I-I’m s-sorry M-Miss Enoshima!,” she squeaked. She sniffled through her tears and let go of her hair immediately. “Y-You were l-laying on m-me and I-I didn’t want to m-move you! Y-You looked s-so peaceful!” she squeaked. 

 

Junko wasn’t even annoyed at her apology.

 

How could she be?

 

She understood her. 

 

She knew what it was like. 

 

Tsumiki did nothing wrong. 

 

It wasn’t her fault. 

 

None of this was. 

 

“Hey, hey,” Junko started calmly. “It’s okay. I promise I’m not upset.” She kept her voice gentle and calm as not to upset the poor woman more. Tsumiki whimpered and wiped her eyes. 

 

“I-I’m so-sorry, I-I d-didn’t m-mean to insinuate th-that you w-were mad at me e-either,” she attempted again. 

 

Junko took a risk and wrapped her arms around Tsumiki. 

 

“It’s okay,” she mumbled. “You did nothing wrong. None of it was your fault,” she assured. Tsumiki squeaked loudly  at the affection. Soon her soft arms wrapped around Junko as she cried softly. 

 

“Th-Thank y-you.” 

 

They stayed like that for a while. Junko was too tired to let her go after a few minutes, and Tsumiki seemed to be enjoying the affection. The nurse buried her face into the models shoulder and let out a happy sigh. Junko was the first to pull away. Tsumiki released her immediately. There was a tiny blush on her face. 

 

“T-Thank you f-for that. Y-You g-give very nice h-hugs,” Tsumiki complimented shyly. Junko suppressed an eye roll and settled for a little fake smile. 

 

“No problem.” She looked up at the clock. 8pm already. Where was Mukuro? Shouldn’t she have stopped by by now? She slumped down against the bed again and rolled over on her side. 

 

Or maybe she just didn’t care. 

 

No. She couldn’t think like that. 

 

Tsumiki sniffled and stood up off the bed. Junko turned to look at her. 

 

“I-I’m going to t-take a quick s-shower. W-Will you b-be okay by yourself?,” she questioned. Junko scoffed without thinking. 

 

“Yeah, duh,” she snipped. Tsumiki flinched at her tone and turned away. 

 

“I-I’ll just b-be i-in the next room. C-Call me i-if you n-need anything.” She leaned down and picked up her tote bag before retreating into the bathroom. 

 

God. Why couldn’t she be nice sometimes?

 

She rubbed her legs against one another in the bed. She cringed at how prickly they were already. Her arms crossed across her chest in a pout.  _ She  _ wanted to take a shower too. She’d ask Tsumiki about it when she came out of the bathroom. 

 

Having her cellphone back would be nice too. Maybe Mukuro would bring it when she came to visit. 

 

_If_ she came to visit. 

 

She sat up a little in bed and stared at the entrance. 

 

Mukuro would walk in any moment. 

 

Fifteen minutes passed. 

 

Her eyelids drooped sleepily as she stared at the door. She snapped out of it and continued her watch. She heard footsteps down the hallway and perked up. Her shoulders slumped in defeat when Asahina and Ogami walked by hand in hand. 

 

She wasn’t coming. 

 

She’d forgotten about her. 

 

It was then that Tsumiki stepped out of the bathroom, drying her hair. She tied it up in the towel and trudged over to Junko’s bed. Tsumiki picked up on her disappointment immediately. 

 

“A-Are you o-okay?,” she questioned in a soft voice. 

 

Junko continued staring at the door. She forced the newly forming tears back into her system. She was so stupid. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid- 

 

“Miss E-Enoshima?,” Tsumiki tried again. She sat down on the edge of the bed and looked into Junko’s glazed over eyes. “A-Are you o-okay? D-Do you n-need me to g-get y-you a-anything?” Junko let out a shuddering breath. 

 

“Can I take a shower?,” she croaked. Tsumiki nodded as a tiny smile formed on her pale lips. 

 

“Of c-course!,” the nurse responded. She removed the towel from her head and draped it over the back of the chair. She turned to Junko and held out her hands. “B-Be careful g-getting our to-of bed. Y-Your legs w-will p-probably b-be week,” she warned. Junko felt numb as she carefully swung her legs over to the side of the bed. She grabbed Tsumiki’s small, clammy hands in her own and helped herself up. 

 

Her knees shook from fatigue. She took a couple of steps forward before falling onto her knees in a crumpled heap. Tsumiki squeaked in shock and knelt beside her. 

 

“A-Are you o-okay?!,” she exclaimed. Junko didn’t respond. The tears were threatening to return. She blinked them back and looked up at Tsumiki. 

 

“You might need to help me a little more,” she grumbled. Tsumiki’s face tinted red. 

 

“I-I c-could c-carry y-you i-if you w-want,” she offered. Junko scoffed. 

 

“I doubt you could carry me. No offense, but you’re a twig,” Junko observed. 

 

Tsumiki rolled up the sleeves to her sweater and scooped her up without a second thought. Junko felt her jaw drop a bit in shock. She didn’t say anything as Tsumiki carried her into the bathroom. She sat her down on the floor and stepped back. 

 

“D-Do you n-need an-any he-help u-uh-uhmmm…,” Tsumiki trailed off, her face bright red. Junko felt her own face warm as she shook her head. 

 

“I’m fine,” she quickly responded. 

 

“A-Are y-you sure?,” Tsumiki asked nervously. Junko nodded. She just wanted to be alone. If she fell and hurt herself, so be it. Tsumiki reluctantly backed away. “I-I’ll j-just be r-right o-out there i-if you need me,” she informed. The nurse exited out of the bathroom and shut the door behind her. 

 

The second the door shut, Junko began to cry. 

 

She didn’t make a sound as she stripped off her clothes. Her tears dropped down her face and onto her naked body. Why was she so upset? Why was she like this? Why was she so dependent on her stupid, useless sister? 

 

No, Mukuro wasn’t useless. Or stupid. She’d kept her safe. She was the only person that ever made her feel safe. 

 

Junko got up on her knees and made her way to the shower. She turned on the water and waited for it to warm to her liking before attempting to stand. She braced her hands on the wall as she rose to her feet on trembling legs. Just one step up into the shower and she was golden. Just one step. 

 

Junko lifted her foot up as slowly and carefully as she could muster as she stepped into the tub. She lifted her other leg in and braced herself on the shower wall. She felt her tears slowly subside as the warm water hit her bare skin. This is what she needed. The warmth. She sighed heavily as her loneliness and stressed melted away. She was okay. She was okay. Her hand left the wall for a moment as she searched around for shampoo. 

 

Tsumiki didn’t warn her about how slippery the floor was.

 

She lost her balance and slipped, knocking her head hard against the side of the tub. She groaned loudly as stars morphed into her vision. She heard the door open as Tsumiki rushed in, drawing the curtain back. Her head hurt. It was going to explode. 

 

“M-Miss E-Enoshima! A-Are y-you a-alright? D-Did you f-fall? Or h-hit your h-head?,” she rambled in a worried tone. Junko knew she was talking. But her questions weren’t registering. She just wanted to take a shower. Just take a fucking shower. “O-Oh, i-it’s okay,” Tsumiki soothed. Junko didn’t even realize she had started crying again until Tsumiki reached forward and brushed her tears aside. She bit her trembling lips and gritted her teeth. 

 

“I just wanted to take a shower,” she whined softly. Tsumiki’s face fell. She met Junko’s dazed eyes as her face tinted bright red. 

 

“I-I can help you, i-if you w-want,” she offered. A look of shock and disgust immediately crossed her face. “I-I’m sorry! I-I shouldn’t have s-suggested t-that!” Junko’s head throbbed more. She just wanted to finish her shower and go to bed. She didn’t even care about seeing Mukuro anymore. She just wanted to sleep. A heavy sigh left her. God. What a nightmare. An embarrassing nightmare. 

 

“Tsumiki, jus'help me out so I can go to bed,” Junko mumbled. Her eyes drooped shut as the pain in her head overwhelmed her. She snapped awake quickly as she felt Tsumiki’s soft hands on her. 

 

“T-Try to st-stay awake. I-I’ll a-assess y-you w-when we’re done,” Tsumiki ordered, though her voice wasn’t that forceful. 

 

Junko let her head rest on her knees as Tsumiki helped her bathe. She blocked most of it out of her mind. It was too embarrassing. Made her feel fucking pathetic. 

 

It was over quickly. Tsumiki turned off the shower and grabbed a towel from overhead. She helped Junko dry off before helping her out of the tub and onto the floor. The tiled floor was cool to the touch, and Junko involuntarily tensed. Tsumiki grabbed some clothes from the counter and knelt beside Junko. 

 

“I-I r-realized you d-didn’t have e-extra clothes, so y-you can h-have some of mi-mine, if you want,” Tsumiki volunteered. Junko was too tired and in too much pain to argue. She nodded her head slowly. Tsumiki’s face seemed to light up at her confirmation. She unfolded the clothes and helped Junko get dressed. Junko closed her eyes as Tsumiki threaded her arms through a soft sweater and slid a pair of shorts onto her. She wouldn’t be caught dead wearing any of Tsumiki’s tacky clothes in public, but she felt too shitty to protest. It was the thought that counted, and the clothes were comfortable. Tsumiki finished by sliding a pair of fluffy socks on her cold feet. 

 

“T-There w-we go. I-I’m s-sorry i-if they-they’re u-uncomfortable,” she apologized. Junko managed to shake her head a little. She felt sick. She just wanted to sleep. “O-Okay, l-let’s get y-you checked out.” Tsumiki scooped her up in her arms with a bit of effort and nudged the door back open with her foot. Junko prayed she wouldn’t fall. She didn’t want two head injuries in one night. One was enough. 

 

She blacked out a few times as Tsumiki examined her head. The nurse’s voice was muffled in her ears. She heard ‘concussion’ and ‘not that bad’ and that was enough for her. Tsumiki patched up the tiny wound on her head before wrapping it up in a bandage. Junko was barely able to stay awake as she was guided back down onto the bed. 

 

Blackness swirled around her the second her head hit the pillow. 

 

———-

 

**Concussion Fueled Fever Dream: Eight Years Ago**

 

_ “I can't believe you lied to Mommy,” Junko whispered in a conspiratorially. She licked at her ice cream with great fervor as she sat on the swing set with her sister. Mukuro idly rocked back and forth on the swing with the help of her feet. She didn’t look up from the ground.  _

 

_ “I had to. She seemed really mad about it. I didn’t want you to get in trouble,” her sister reasoned.  _

 

_ “You told her you pushed me off! And then _ you _ got in trouble!,” Junko squeaked. How could Mukuro be so stupid?  _

 

_ They had rushed into the house after Junko had leaped off the swing. Mommy had been so angry, so worried when Mukuro had set Junko on the couch and tried to explain.  _

 

_ And poor Mukuro was so easy to blame.  _

 

_ “I-I pushed her. I-I’m sorry. We were just playing around, and I got too rough,” her sister lied skillfully. It only made Mommy angrier.  _

 

_ She hit her sister so hard across the face she had sent her to the floor.  _

 

_ “I don’t  _ need  _ this bullshit from you two! You know better than this! Both of you!,” she had yelled. Junko cried as she watched her sister on the floor with a hand to her red cheek. Mommy had grabbed her purse and grabbed Junko’s good arm and yanked her out the door. “Come on, we need to go to the doctor.” _

 

_ Junko stared down at her splint and frowned. She licked her ice cream thoughtfully as she turned her wrist over.  _

 

_ Her sister had gotten hurt because of her.  _

 

_ She was a selfish coward.  _

 

_ “I’m sorry, Muku,” she whimpered. Mukuro looked up at her and tilted her head in confusion.  _

 

_ “What for, Junko?,” Mukuro asked plainly. Junko looked up at her sister and cringed. There was already a sickening red welt forming on her pale face.  _

 

_ “Mommy hit you,” she stated in a low voice. Mukuro nodded.  _

 

_ “She did. It’s okay,” she confirmed coldly. Junko felt anger well up in her small body.  _

 

_ “Not it’s  _ not _! You di-didn’t deserve it! You didn’t do anything wrong!,” she wailed. Tears spilled out of her eyes as she held out her ice cream to her sister. “Take it. I’m not hungry anymore. You deserve it more anyways.” Mukuro looked at it, stunned. _

 

_ “Junko, it’s yours.” Junko held it out again.  _

 

_ “And I don’t want it anymore. Just take it!,” she demanded. Mukuro cautiously accepted the treat and stared down at it. It had begun to melt and coat her fingers with the sugary substance. Junko watched as a tiny smile crossed her face.  _

 

_ “Thanks.” _

 

_ Junko nodded. She stared down at her splint and bit her lip.  _

 

_ “I won’t let Mommy hit you again,” she promised in a cold tone. Mukuro stopped mid lick and glanced over at Junko.  _

 

_ “Junko, it’s fine. She was just upset. You know Mommy isn’t like that,” Mukuro reasoned. Junko gripped the swing chains with her good hand.  _

 

_ “Doesn’t matter. It won’t ever happen again. If she hits you, I’ll hit her back. I don’t care if I get in trouble,” she spoke bravely. " _ _ I want to protect you too, Mukuro.” _

 

————

 

**Day Four: Early Morning**

 

“Junko?”

 

A familiar voice graced her ears as she regained consciousness. Junko awoke slowly and painfully, her ears ringing and head throbbing. She rubbed her eyes as they opened to find Mukuro sitting next to her on the bed. Elation replaced her grogginess and thoughts of pain. Her sister smiled as Junko sat up in bed. 

 

“I’m glad you’re alright. Tsumiki told me you fell in the shower and had a mild concussion.” She motioned to the sleeping nurse at the desk. Tsumiki was snoring loudly, a large puddle of drool forming under her chin. Junko wrinkled her nose up in disgust. God, she was gross. “She stayed up all night making sure you were okay,” she spoke at the sign of Junko’s signature disgusted face. Junko grumbled and closed her eyes. It was too hard to keep them open. 

 

“Well, that's sweet. My head still fucking hurts though,” Junko grumbled. Mukuro rested her hand on her head and stroked her hair lightly, careful to avoid hurting her more. 

 

“I heard you hit it pretty hard. I’m just glad you’re alright.”

 

Junko felt bitter. 

 

Mukuro should’ve been there. 

 

“You didn’t come to see me yesterday,” Junko pouted. She felt the hair on her neck prickle with pleasure as Mukuro nails scratched her scalp. 

 

“I tried, I promise. Everytime I came in, you were asleep. And I really didn’t want to wake you. You need your rest.” Junko’s bitter feeling melted away. Of course Mukuro wouldn’t forget about her. It was just bad luck. 

 

“You could’ve woken me up,” Junko mumbled. 

 

“I didn’t want to disturb you Junko, I’m sorry. Next time I’ll wake you up, okay?,” she assured. Junko nodded slowly. 

 

“‘Kay,” she confirmed. Suddenly, she remembered. She had something for her. “Oh, I have something for you.” She opened her eyes and felt around under her pillow. Mukuro tilted her head curiously. 

 

“Oh?” 

 

Junko turned back to her and waved her off. 

 

“Close your eyes,” she instructed. Mukuro rolled her eyes. “Close ‘em!,” Junko repeated. She winced as her head began to throb again. Her older sister did as she was told and shut her eyes. Junko opened the coloring book from underneath her pillow and flipped to the picture of the wolf. She carefully tore it out of the book before tucking the book back under her pillow. She placed the drawing in Mukuro’s lap and smiled. “Okay, open ‘em.” 

 

Mukuro opened her eyes and looked down at her lap. Her eyes widened at the picture as she picked it up. She studied it with intense curiosity as her lips parted in a genuinely sweet smile. 

 

“Junko, this is amazing. Thank you,” her sister whispered, almost inaudible. Junko smirked and waved her off. 

 

“Well it was you who told Tsumiki about the book anyways, and I know you really like wolves. No biggie. It was nice to have something to keep me occupied. By the way-do you have my cellphone by chance?,” she added in. Mukuro folded the picture and tucked it into her jacket pocket. At the mention of her phone, Mukuro shook her head. 

 

“I don’t. But if you give me your dorm key, I can get it for you, if you want,” she offered. She adjusted the collar of her jacket a little. Junko spotted a flash of red on her sister’s neck before the coat covered it back up. Wait a second. 

 

“Oh do you mind? I'm just having serious withdrawals,” Junko whined. She leaned forward and smirked. Her hand went up to Mukuro’s neck. “You have a run in with a vampire?,” she observed sneakily. Mukuro’s face turned bright red as her hand flew up to her neck. 

 

“J-Junko!,” Mukuro protested. She lowered her voice. “Is it that noticeable?” Junko snickered. 

 

“You’re not as much of a prude as I thought. Was it Sayaka?,” she teased. Mukuro’s blush darkened. 

 

“How did you know about me and Sayaka?” Junko scoffed. 

 

“Because she told me, dumbass! That’s my best friend!,” Junko reminded her. Mukuro rubbed her neck awkwardly and looked away. 

 

“I’m sorry if I made you upset. I shouldn’t have let her do that,” Mukuro mumbled guiltily. Junko shook her head. Her poor sister was so hopeless. 

 

“Muku, I don’t give a shit. I was just teasing. I’m happy for you. Sayaka’s sweet,” Junko assured. She leaned in close to her sister and smirked. “And  _ reeeeeeaalllly _ hot,” she added. Mukuro gently shoved her sister away. 

 

“Junko!” Mukuro sighed and removed her hand from her neck. “Do you know how to…get rid of these...uh?” The question seemed painful for her to get out. Junko crossed her arms over her chest. 

 

“Hickies? Cold spoon,” she answered plainly. “Stick one in the freezer and press it to your neck. Works like a charm.” Mukuro nodded thoughtfully. 

 

“Cold spoon. Got it. Thank you Junko. And thank you for not being upset about Sayaka.” Junko raised an eyebrow. 

 

“Why would I be mad? You deserve to be happy Muku, I told you that,” she soothed. Mukuro smiled and sighed. 

 

“Thank you Junko. I appreciate it.”

 

“Duh. So tell me about your date!,” Junko squeaked. Sayaka hadn’t had the time to give her the juicy details, so she had to fish it out of her sister. Mukuro blushed and looked down at her hands, but obliged. 

 

“We went to the park. It was really nice. We got ice cream and went on the swings. We watched the sunset from the top of the hill and then she uh-“ Mukuro stopped for a moment and covered her mouth. “Shekissedmealot,” she mumbled into her hand. Junko felt her heart warm as she leaned forward. 

 

“Run that by me again?” Mukuro uncovered her mouth. She was smiling like an idiot. 

 

“She kissed me a lot,” she repeated. Junko smirked. 

 

“Awwwwww! That’s so sweet!,” she cooed. She tried to stifle a cough as it rose up in her chest. She clutched her stomach as she bent over and coughed harshly. Her chest and head throbbed with each spasm of her body. Mukuro set a hand on her back and rubbed it in gentle circles. The coughing soon cleared up as she collapsed back onto her pillow. Her eyes shut as her head pounded in severe pain. Mukuro brushed her bangs aside and sighed. 

 

“I think you should rest some more, Junko,” she suggested calmly. “Sayaka and I are meeting up again today, but do you want me to stop by again later?” Junko pondered her offer. 

 

She wanted to say yes. 

 

But she knew it would seem needy. 

 

Mukuro has a life besides her, she had to understand that. 

 

“I’ll be okay,” she murmured. “Go gay it up with Sayaka.” She smiled weakly as Mukuro kissed her forehead and stood up from the bed. 

 

“Where’s your key at? I’ll grab your phone from your room when I get back,” Mukuro promised. Junko motioned weakly to the desk. 

 

“Should be on the desk.” She heard the jingling sound of her keys as Mukuro picked them up from the desk.

 

“I love you Junko. Thanks for the picture. I’ll be sure to hang it up when I get back to my room.” Junko felt pride swell in her chest. 

 

“Awwwww shucks. Love you too,” she mumbled. She heard Mukuro shake Tsumiki awake to let her know she was leaving before Junko heard her feet scuffing away out of the office. 

 

The bed creaked after a moment as Tsumiki laid down on the bed beside her. A chill passed over Junko as she shivered involuntarily. The blankets weren't enough, no matter how much she pulled them up, or wrapped them around herself. 

 

She already missed Mukuro.

 

She'd been so, so lonely. 

 

This was an emotional chill as well. 

 

She opened her eyes to glance at Tsumiki. The nurse was drifting back off to sleep beside her, mouth already agape in a snore. The little trickle of drool had already began to run out of her mouth. 

 

Tsumiki. She was always warm.

 

Surely she wouldn’t mind, right?

 

Junko cautiously scooted closer to the nurse. Closer. Closer. She rested her head on the woman’s chest. The woman’s heartbeat echoed in her ear. Tsumiki was either too exhausted to notice, or didn’t mind. She wrapped her warm arms around Junko groggily and held her close. 

 

The chills stopped. 

 

She closed her eyes, and fell asleep warm and content.    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hah,,,, gay,,,,  
> *finger guns*  
> review if u can my crops are dying


	3. Fake Flowers, Fear, and Friendships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikan and Junko bond over past trauma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING FOR THIS CH BEING V SAD, V DARK IN SOME PARTS, AND V GAY
> 
> god this took longer than expected to write bc of how fckin sad it was
> 
> not much to say except this ch is just,,,,god
> 
> it's a doozy, and not beta'd so please bear with the mistakes 
> 
> HOPE Y'ALL ENJOY REGARDLESS
> 
> <3

**Fever Dream: Seven Years Ago**

 

_ Junko knew things were worse now that Daddy was gone.  _

 

_ Mommy was mean.  _

 

_ She didn’t hit them like Daddy did. She’d hit Mukuro once.  _

 

_ But she did other things to hurt them.  _

 

_ Junko carefully tucked some snacks from the cupboard into the waistband of her shorts. She turned to look over at Mommy.  _

 

_ She was slumped in Daddy’s recliner, cigarette in hand, though the smoking stick was mostly ash by now. A game show droned on their cheap television set.  _

 

_ She had to be quick.  _

 

_ Junko slowly eased her way off the counter top and landed on the floor without making a sound. Her bare feet crept through the kitchen floor and onto the carpet of their living room.  _

 

_ Mommy cleared her throat. Junko stopped in her tracks.  _

 

_ “Junko?,” Mommy called out. “Can you come here, sweetie?”  _

 

_ Junko broke out in a cold sweat as she approached her mother.  _

 

_ “Yes?,” she responded quietly. Mommy patted her lap. Junko swallowed hard. She slowly eased into her mother’s lap, hoping she wouldn’t feel the food she’d snuck under her waistband.  _

 

_ Mommy was silent for a moment. Junko looked up at her face. It was ashen and blank. Her mouth was slightly agape as she mumbled to herself.  _

 

_ “You know I love you, right?,” her mother whispered finally. Junko nodded slowly.  _

 

_ “Y-Yes,” she responded. She needed to go. Go right now.  _

 

_ “Good, good.” Her voice sounded far away. Junko’s eyes traveled to the coffee table. An open pill bottle was tipped on its side.  _

 

_ Mommy was just as bad as Daddy.  _

 

_ “M-May I go to my room now?,” Junko meekly requested. Mommy didn’t respond for a while. Junko flinched when a dry, rough hand stroked her cheek.  _

 

_ “Of course, sweetie. I’ll make dinner for you in a bit,” she promised. Junko forced a smile onto her face.  _

 

_ “T-Thank you Mommy.” _

 

_ She climbed off her mother’s lap and tiptoed down the hallway.  _

 

_ She broke into a sprint once she rounded the corner.  _

 

_ Junko knocked three times on their bedroom door.  _

 

_ Nobody answered.  _

 

_ “Muku,” Junko whispered harshly. She knocked again. No answer. Her hand reached down the the doorknob and tried it. The door opened. _

 

_ She rushed into the room and barricaded the door shut with her desk chair.  _

 

_ “Muku,” Junko whispered again, a little louder. She crept towards her bed. Mukuro was sound asleep, curled up on her side with her face pressed into the several blankets Junko had piled on the bed.  _

 

_ Mommy had refused to feed her.  _

 

_ Mukuro didn’t exist to her anymore.  _

 

_ Junko sat beside her older sister and shook her awake. Mukuro opened her eyes groggily. A weak smile crossed her lips.  _

 

_ “Hey Junko,” she greeted. Her voice was hoarse and weak. It made Junko want to cry.  _

 

_ Her older sister was supposed to be the strong one.  _

 

_ Instead, it was Junko.  _

 

_ She took the plethora of snacks she’d gathered from the cabinet out of her waistband and handed them to Mukuro. Her sisters dull eyes widened at the food.  _

 

_ “Did you have to steal again?,” she questioned. Junko nodded and began to open the packets for her as an afterthought.  _

 

_ “Of course I did,” Junko mumbled. She placed the opened snacks on her sister’s lap and watched as Mukuro devoured them almost instantly.  _

 

_ It was a pathetic sight to see.  _

 

_ Mukuro wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and sat up in bed.  _

 

_ She was practically skin and bones. Her cheeks and eyes were sunken into her face. Her lip were cracked and red.  _

 

_ “Thank you Junko,” she whispered. Junko nodded and grabbed her sister’s hands. She winced at how boney and frail they were.  _

 

_ “Mommy’s making dinner tonight. I’ll sneak you what I can, okay?,” Junko promised. She felt her voice crack as tears filled her eyes. Her sweet, loving older sister didn’t deserve to waste away at the hands of their drugged out mother. Mukuro rested her forehead against her sisters.  _

 

_ “I love you Junko,” she mumbled. Junko began to sob as she reached out and held her sister against her chest.  _

 

_ “I love you too Muku,” she whimpered. “We’re going to get out of here soon, I promise. I promise.” _

  
  


————

 

**Day Four: Afternoon**

 

“H-Hey, i-it’s okay, i-it’s okay!”

 

Junko heard Tsumiki’s soothing voice in her ear as she awoke in a blind panic. 

 

She didn’t want to ever think about that again. 

 

She wasn’t supposed to. 

 

Of course the fucking fever would bring it back out. 

 

Junko took a few shuddering breaths to calm herself. It was over. She was safe. Mukuro was safe. Everything was okay. 

 

Tsumiki held her protectively against her chest and stroked her hair soothingly. Junko shuddered and clung to her without thinking. Mikan was warm. She needed warmth. 

 

“Shhhh, i-it’s okay, i-it’s okay,” Tsumiki cooed softly. Junko buried her face into the soft fabric of Tsumiki’s sweater. She felt calmer as she breathed in the nurse’s scent. Normally the hospital smell made her want to gag. But she just needed something right now. 

 

Someone. 

 

She was calm soon enough. A few sniffles left her before a heavy sigh replaced them. Tsumiki continued stroking her hair.

 

“A-Are y-you o-okay?,” she asked quietly. Junko nodded. 

 

“Yeah,” she responded, voice muffled by the fabric of Tsumiki’s sweater. Embarrassment flooded her instantly as she pulled away from the nurse. She wiped her eyes and laid back on her own pillow. Tsumiki remained silent. 

 

“D-D-Do you wa-want to t-talk about i-it?,” she inquired timidly. Junko shook her head angrily. 

 

“I don’t,” she snipped. Tsumiki nodded and stood up off the bed. 

 

“I-I-I’m s-sorry!,” the nurse whimpered. Junko looked up at her and shook her head. 

 

“No, don’t be. It’s just…” Junko sighed heavily. “I’m not ready. I just can't.” Tsumiki stopped in her tracks. She sat back down on the bed and nodded understandingly. 

 

“I-I understand,” she assured. A look of knowing flashed in her eyes. “I-I-I have nightmares t-too. A-About my p-past,” she confided. Junko sat up a little in bed. She felt a cough coming, but suppressed it. 

 

_ You’re living in a nightmare,  _ Junko thought. She nodded towards the nurse. 

 

“Do  _ you  _ want to talk about it?,” Junko asked. Tsumiki’s face fell. 

 

“N-Not r-really, I-I-I’m so-sorry,” Tsumiki whimpered. “I-It’s s-still h-hard f-for m-me too.” Junko nodded. 

 

“You don’t have to, Tsumiki. But if you ever want to, I’d be willing to listen.” She didn’t want Tsumiki to know she overheard her conversation with her mother. Her stupid, bitch of a mother. The nurse twiddled her thumbs in her lap. Her fingers went to scratch at the heavy gauze bandage on her arm. She looked up at Junko and cleared her throat. Her hands didn’t leave her arm. 

 

“I-I c-can t-tell you a-about o-one t-thing. I-If t-that’s okay,” Tsumiki offered. Junko’s eyes locked onto her arm. She swallowed hard as she nodded. She expected the worst. 

 

Tsumiki’s nimble fingers undid the clasp holding the bandage together and she began to unravel it from her forearm. Junko gasped involuntarily at the sight. 

 

Deep, long scars littered the arm. They ranged in shapes and size. Some looked like cigarette burns. The biggest ones looked like someone had sliced the poor woman’s arms open. There were open scabs and wounds where Tsumiki had picked at the scars until the bled. Junko wanted to cry. 

 

She knew it. 

 

She  _ was  _ like her. 

 

“Tsumiki…,” Junko whispered hoarsely. She reached out for her arm. Tsumiki gently pulled it away and held it to her chest. 

 

“M-My other on-one is b-bad too, a-and uh-“ She cut herself off as she leaned down to her leg. There was another matching bandage wrapped around it. Tsumiki undid it slowly to reveal a similar gruesome sight. 

 

The gashes were worse on her leg. The scars were so deep and ragged they were risen on her skin. Junko covered her mouth in shock. 

 

“W-What happened?,” she squeaked. Tsumiki has begun to cry softly. Junko resisted the urge to pull her close. Tsumiki didn’t seem to want to be touched right now. 

 

“Y-You can’t t-tell anyone,” Tsumiki warned. Her voice had lost its nervous affliction. Junko nodded in stunned silence. Tsumiki cradled her scarred arm and bit her trembling lips. “M-My step d-dad w-was mean to m-my mom and I. Her d-did n-nasty things t-to us. H-He hurt m-me more t-though. H-He…” Tsumiki swallowed hard. Junko nodded for her to continue. “H-He s-said I-I was h-his ‘flower’ a-and he ne-needed to h-help m-me ‘b-bloom.’”

 

Junko thought she was going to vomit.

 

No. 

 

Not Tsumiki.  

 

Tsumiki bit her lip as she continued. 

 

“H-He t-touched m-me a-a lot, a-and i-if I-I cr-cried or s-said no, h-he’d h-hurt me. He’d b-burn m-me and h-hit me a-and k-kick me. And o-one d-day h-he threatened t-to k-kill m-me i-if I t-told a-anyone. H-He t-trapped m-me i-in my r-room f-for t-the weekend w-while m-my mom was away on b-business. N-Nobody was going t-to help m-me or sa-save me.” She paused to compose herself. “S-So I-I jumped o-out t-the window t-to g-get away f-from him.” 

 

She felt sick. So so so so so sick. 

 

Tsumiki was staring blankly at the bed. 

 

“I-I h-had to g-go to the h-hospital t-to g-get stitches. Wh-When the-they examined m-me, t-they f-found o-out what he’d done. M-My mom w-was s-so u-upset w-with me,” she whimpered. Tears were dripping down her face. “T-The nurses w-were s-so sweet t-to me. T-They gave m-me candy and t-told m-me I-I was s-so sm-smart and b-brave a-and-“ She cut herself off as she began to sob. “I-I-I wasn’t a-any of those t-things! I -was a s-stupid, ugly, c-coward!,” she wailed. 

 

Tsumiki weaved her fingers into her hair and pulled hard as she broke into loud, pained wails. Junko was stunned into silence. What should she do? What should she do? 

 

Without thinking, she leaned forward and held Tsumiki to her chest. The young woman tensed for a moment before wrapping her arms around Junko tightly. Junko held her like she was made of glass. 

 

“Tsumiki, I’m so sorry,” she choked. Tsumiki was a sweet, caring girl. She didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve a disgusting stepfather or emotionally manipulative mother. She deserved the best. Only the best. 

 

Junko didn’t want anything to hurt her ever again. 

 

Tsumiki buried her face into her chest as she sobbed. Junko watched the door attentively. A few people peeked in, but she shot daggers at them until they walked off. 

 

“I-I-I’m s-so-sorry,” Tsumiki whimpered into her chest. She pulled herself away from Junko and wiped her eyes. “I-I-I d-didn’t w-want to m-make y-you f-feel burdened b-by m-me.” She began to wrap her arm and leg back up quickly. Junko shuddered at the sight of the scars again. 

 

“Tsumiki, please. Don’t ever apologize for that,” she ordered gently. Tsumiki paused wrapping her arm and met Junko’s eyes. There were still remnants of tears in the corners of her eyes. “I told you I was here for you, okay? I meant it.” Tsumiki finished wrapping her arm. 

 

“T-T-Thank y-you for l-listening t-to me,” she said softly. She looked back up at Junko with worried eyes. “A-And y-you w-won’t t-tell, r-right?,” she whimpered. Junko nodded in confirmation. 

 

“I won't say anything Tsumiki, I promise.” Exhaustion washed over her in the form of a splitting headache. She fought it back and clenched her teeth. 

 

Tsumiki gave her a sad smile. 

 

“T-Thank you, M-Miss E-Enoshima,” Tsumiki said softly. Junko felt something overcome her. 

 

Her cheeks tinted red. 

 

“Tsumiki, you can call me Junko if you want,” she offered. Tsumiki blushed as well as she searched for words. 

 

“A-Are y-you sure?!,” she squeaked. Junko scoffed. 

 

“Don’t make such a big deal about it! It’s just my name, Christ.” Tsumiki nodded vigorously. 

 

“O-Okay M-Miss- I mean-“ She cut herself off and steadied herself. “Okay, J-Junko! A-And you c-can call m-me Mikan, if you’d like,” she offered nervously. 

 

Junko wasn’t able to keep the smile off her face. 

 

“Okay, Mikan.”

 

Her stomach twisted painfully. She grit her teeth and laid back onto the bed. Mikan looked concerned as she leaned forward. 

 

“W-What’s wrong? A-Are y-you o-okay?,” Mikan questioned in a worried tone. Junko groaned and closed her eyes. She had almost forgot how sick she still was. Her throbbing head and burning chest wasn’t going to let her forget again, though. 

 

“Just hungry. Head hurts,” she mumbled. She felt Mikan’s clammy hand on her forehead for a moment before it was removed. She relaxed as the blankets were pulled around her. 

 

“Y-Your f-fever s-still feels h-high. I-I’ll go m-make you s-some soup, a-and g-get you s-some medicine f-for your head. Just r-rest up, okay?,” Mikan soothed. 

 

“‘Kay,” she mumbled. 

 

It didn’t take long for her to pass out. 

 

————-

 

**Fever Dream: Seven Years Ago**

  
  


_ Mukuro couldn’t even make it up to her own bed anymore.  _

 

_ Junko kept her head rested on Mukuro’s chest to listen for her heartbeat as her sister slept. Her heartbeat had grown weaker and weaker with each passing week. She’d grown skinnier. More exhausted. No matter how many scraps Junko fed her, it wasn’t enough to keep her healthy.  _

 

_ Mukuro could die.  _

 

_ Junko felt her eyelids droop sleepily. She snapped herself awake when Mukuro mumbled in her sleep.  _

 

_ “Cold…cold…,” her older sister whimpered. Junko was quick the grab the quilt at the end of her bed and pull it over her.  _

 

_ “Shhh, it’s okay Muku,” Junko cooed. She tucked the quilt around her sister and laid her head back down.  _

 

_ She couldn’t let her die.  _

 

_ She promised to keep her safe.  _

 

_ To get her out of here.  _

 

_ Junko had two bags packed for them in her closet. When Mukuro got a little stronger, they would leave.  _

 

_ But Junko didn’t know if she  _ would  _ get stronger.  _

 

_ She felt Mukuro’s thin arms cling to her. She wrapped her arms around her sister as gently as she could muster. Her hand reached up to stroke her hair. Junko winced when some of Mukuro’s dark hair coated her sweaty palm. Tears pricked her eyes.  _

 

_ She wasn’t going to make it out of here.  _

 

_ Junko tensed when the front door slammed open.  _

 

_ It was all too familiar.  _

 

_ “No,” Junko whimpered. “No no no no no no.” She let go of Mukuro when she heard footsteps stomping down the hallway.  _

 

_ It couldn’t have been Mommy.  _

 

_ Daddy was back.  _

 

_ Junko froze when the door knob turned. She had forgotten the chair. How could she forget?!? She quickly ran for the closet as the door open and hid among the piles of dirty laundry.  _

 

_ Daddy creaked open their door. Junko fumbled around in the closet for their bags. She needed something in one. She quietly unzipped Mukuro’s bag and felt around for her knife. Where was it?!? She knew she packed it.  _

 

_ She watched in horror as Daddy sat down beside Mukuro on the bed.  _

 

_ He drew back the covers.  _

 

_ “Poor baby,” he slurred. Junko fumed as he moved her hair aside. He groaned when some of her hair fell out onto his hand. “Wha’ did she do t’you?”  _

 

_ Junko felt her heart seize when he fumbled with the buttons on her shirt.  _

 

_ “I’s okay sweetie, I got you. I got you,” he mumbled. He got impatient with the buttons in his drunken haze as he ripped her shirt open. Mukuro’s eyes opened weakly. They widened in shock.  _

 

_ “D-Daddy?,” she whimpered. Junko couldn’t take it. She rummaged through the bag quicker until she felt metal on her hand.  _

 

_ She grabbed the knife and crept out of the closet.  _

 

_ Daddy continued stroking her hair.  _

 

_ Mukuro was crying.  _

 

_ “Shhhhh, i’s okay, i’s okay,” Daddy slurred. “I’ll fix you,” he mumbled.  _

 

_ He touched her chest.  _

 

_ Junko felt rage overwhelm her as she leapt onto his back.  _

 

_ “NOOOOOOOOOO!,” she snarled. She plunged the knife into her father’s shoulder blade and dug the blade deep. Her father howled in pain as he stood up from the bed. He slammed his head on the edge of the top bunk and stumbled back. Junko didn’t let go of him as her little arms wrapped around her father’s neck. “YOU DON'T HURT HER! YOU DON'T  _ FUCKING  _ HURT HER!,” she screeched at the top of her lungs.  _

 

_ Her father's hands fumbled around to throw Junko off his back. She tightened her grip around his neck ruthlessly. Her father gasped and wheezed as he struggled for air.  _

 

_ Junko didn’t loosen her grip.  _

 

_ “S-Stop…,” he wheezed.  _

 

_ He collapsed to the ground with a sickening groan. Junko released her arms and wiggled out from under her father. She was stunned as she stared at the puddle of blood forming under her father.  _

 

_ She killed him.  _

 

_ She killed him.  _

 

_ She knelt down next to the large man and put her head to his chest. His heart beat on. He was still alive.  _

 

_ Good.  _

 

_ He deserved to pay for what he tried to do to Mukuro.  _

 

_ She went into the closet and gathered the bags. It had to be tonight. She would carry Mukuro to the train station if she had to. They just needed to leave.  _

 

_ She slung both bags over her shoulders and approached the bed.  _

 

_ Mukuro was curled in a ball, eyes wide with fear. Junko felt rage fill her again at the sight of her sisters ripped shirt.  _

 

_ “Muku?,” she asked calmly. Mukuro didn’t respond. Junko grabbed her father’s discarded brown leather jacket from the floor and helped Mukuro sit up. She put the jacket around her and zipped it up. It was big and bulky, but the inside was warm. Her sister still didn’t move.  _

 

_ They had to leave.  _

 

_ Junko knelt next to their father again and rummaged through his pockets. She found what she was looking for-his wallet-and held it tightly in her hand as she flipped through it. There wasn’t much money, but it would be enough to get them far away from here.  _

 

_ She grabbed her coat off their ladder. She took of their backpacks momentarily to slide the jacket on. She tucked her father’s wallet into her coat and then strapped on her boots.  _

 

_ Mukuro was still silent. Her mouth was pressed in a thin line. Junko approached her and knelt down in front of her on the floor. She felt under the bed for her sisters ratty old shoes. She helped Mukuro put them on hurriedly before standing back to her feet.  _

 

_ “We have to go,” Junko pleaded. Mukuro’s eyes were shut peacefully. Junko shook her sisters shoulders and felt tears prick her eyes. “Muku, can you stand? Can you get up?”  _

 

_ She didn’t move.  _

 

_ Junko steadied herself and picked up her older sister in her arms.  _

 

_ She was so light now, almost like a feather. Junko kept her grip tight on Mukuro as she hurried out the ajar front door and down the street.  _

 

_ She’d never ran so fast in her life.  _

 

_ The bags threatened to slip as Junko ran through the streets to the train station. She didn’t stop running.  _

 

_ They reached the train station soon enough.  _

 

_ Junko spouted lies about how they were visiting distant family and that Mukuro was tired from the walk. The adults were stupid enough to believe them.  _

 

_ Or Junko had just gotten amazing at lying.  _

 

_ Junko set her and Mukuro’s bags in front of her feet as an attendee set Mukuro down beside Junko. Junko immediately pulled her sister close.  _

 

_ “I hope she feels better soon, poor thing,” the woman murmured. Junko didn’t respond.  _

 

_ She had just stabbed her father.  _

 

_ They were homeless now.  _

 

_ Mukuro could still die.  _

 

_ Junko rested her head against the back of the seat as the train rolled out of the station. Her eyes closed as her grip tightened on her sister.  _

 

_ She didn’t understand how it got this bad.  _

 

_ But she was going to get through it.  _

 

——

 

**Day Four: Early Evening**

 

“J-Junko?”

 

Junko regained consciousness far too quickly. The panic from the dream still rested heavy on her psyche. She didn’t want to open her eyes. 

 

She was freezing cold. Her entire body stiffened when a clammy hand was pressed to her forehead. 

 

Her eyes slowly opened. Mikan’s concerned face was mere inches from hers. Their eyes met for a second before Mikan squeaked and backed away. 

 

“A-Ah! I-I’m s-sorry! Y-You l-looked like y-you were h-having a-a-another n-nightmare!,” Mikan explained. Junko sat up slowly. She didn’t respond for a moment as she gathered her surroundings. She was in the nurse’s office. She was safe. She was okay. Mukuro was healthy and happy. Everything was okay. 

 

Everything was okay. 

 

But it wasn’t, was it?

 

Junko shuddered and pulled the blankets around herself. Mikan sat next to her on the bed and motioned towards the counter. 

 

“I-I made y-you s-soup, i-if you s-still want it,” Mikan offered meekly. Junko closed her eyes and nodded. She clenched her teeth to keep them from chattering. 

 

“Please,” she spoke through her closed mouth. Why was she so cold? It couldn't just be the fever anymore. 

 

The pounding in her head muffled the rest of the noises in the room. She held back tears as she unclenched her jaw to help with the pressure. 

 

“H-Here,” Mikan spoke softly. “O-Open up.” Junko laid her head back against her pillow and opened her mouth. The warm liquid entered her mouth after a moment. She swallowed hard and shuddered as it warmed the path from her throat to her stomach. It felt good. She let Mikan feed her the entire bowl before she relaxed against the bed. She heard Mikan set the bowl on the counter and turn on the tap to get her some water. The familiar sound of squeaking shoes were heard as Mikan knelt next to her on the bed. 

 

“H-Here, drink s-some water,” she instructed quietly. Junko opened her mouth and flinched when the straw entered. She sucked up the water slowly and shuddered as it chilled her to the bone. Once it was finished she laid back down and gathered the blankets around her. Goosebumps rose all over her body as she shivered. Why was she so cold? A soft whimper escaped her as she felt Mikan’s soft hand on her face. It was so warm. 

 

“Mikan?,” she mumbled quietly. She felt the nurse scoot a little closer.

 

“Y-Yeah? A-Are you o-okay?,” she asked gently. Junko felt her stomach twist uncomfortably as she looked up at Mikan. 

 

“C’mere, I’m cold,” she requested. Mikan’s eyes went wide as she nodded. 

 

“O-Okay!,” she squeaked. She laid down and scooted close to Junko, opening her arms. Junko rested her head on Mikan’s chest and sighed heavily. The chill melted away as Mikan’s arms wrapped around her and her hand rubbed her back. Mikan was so, so warm. She was like a little heater. Junko closed her eyes and felt a pained smile form on her lips. 

 

“You’re so warm,” she mumbled. Mikan giggled nervously and held her closer. 

 

“I-I-I’ve a-always b-been really w-warm,” the nurse confided. “I-I don’t k-know why.” Junko nuzzled into the soft fabric of the nurse’s sweater and exhaled peacefully. She didn’t know how she could feel so at ease with Mikan now. Maybe it was because she related with her. She knew what her life was like. 

 

Or maybe it was because she just needed someone. 

 

“I don’t know why I’m so fucking cold,” she muttered. She shuddered involuntarily with delight when Mikan scratched her back. 

 

“I-It’s b-because your f-fever is s-so high,” Mikan explained. “Y-Your b-body is t-trying to f-fight the i-infection.” Junko nodded weakly. It made sense. She still didn’t fully understand, but whatever. 

 

“I want it to stop,” she whined. She hated being sick. She never got sick as a child, and she had barely been sick as a young adult. Her headaches didn’t count. Mikan giggled again. Junko was starting to like the sound. It was cute. It made her heart swell. 

 

God. Was she falling for her already?

 

No. She just needed affection. That was all. 

 

“Y-You’ll b-be better s-soon. J-Just focus o-on resting f-for now,” Mikan instructed softly. Junko grumbled under her breath as she squeezed her eyes shut. God, she was sick of sleeping too. She didn’t appreciate the fever dreams. 

 

The past was supposed to stay in the past. 

 

Especially hers. 

 

“Fuck sleep,” she mumbled. “Sleep is for the weak.” Bliss coursed through her body when Mikan began to stroke her hair. She winced as the nurse’s fingers caught on a couple of tangles before they continued through her hair. 

 

“A-And y-you’re v-very weak,” Mikan countered. Junko snorted. Who knew Mikan had a sharp tongue on her? She felt the nurse’s hands tense up in her hair. “I-I’m s-sorry! T-That w-was r-rude of m-me!,” she squeaked. Junko groaned and shook her head. 

 

“No, you’re right,” Junko cut in. “I’m just-“

 

“T-The n-nightmares?,” Mikan questioned. Junko grit her teeth and nodded. She didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t. She couldn’t. 

 

She promised Mukuro she’d never talk about it. 

 

Junko settled for a nod. 

 

“Yeah.” She needed to be vague. Mikan continued stroking her hair soothingly. 

 

“I-I u-understand. I-I-It’s hard for m-me too.” She stopped stroking her hair for a moment. “D-Do y-you w-want me to f-fix your h-hair again?,” she asked, quickly changing the subject. Junko was thankful she wasn’t asked to elaborate. Then again, Mikan seemed like the type to not ask questions that weren’t necessary. She was in tune with others emotions.

 

Unlike her. 

 

“Please. The braids were nice.”

 

She felt a prick of sadness when Mikan slowly released her to go gather the supplies. She reluctantly let the nurse go and turned over on her side. Why was she like this? She bit her lip and waited for Mikan to return. She heard the woman rummage around in her bag before the familiar squeaking shoes were heard. 

 

“C-Can y-you sit u-up a little?,” Mikan requested nervously. Junko nodded and pushed herself up a bit on the bed. She felt Mikan sit down behind her. She kept her eyes closed as the nurse began to run her brush through Junko’s hair. She never knew someone as jumpy and nervous as Mikan could have the gentlest touch. Almost as gentle as Mukuro. Almost. 

 

“You’re so sweet, Mikan,” Junko praised. She felt the brush halt in her hair for a moment before it continued. Mikan giggled nervously. 

 

“I-I j-just w-want you t-to feel b-better Junko,” Mikan reasoned. Junko didn’t have to be looking at her to know she was blushing. 

 

“Well, you’re doing a good job,” Junko added. Mikan giggled nervously and stopped brushing her hair. Junko’s scalp tingled when Mikan ran the comb through to separate the strands of her hair out for the braids. 

 

“T-Thank y-you. I-I’m s-sorry y-you’re s-stuck i-i. here w-with me,” Mikan spoke timidly. Junko sighed. It wasn’t Mikan’s fault she was sick. Or stuck in here. 

 

“It’s not your fault,” Junko promised. A tiny smile crossed her lips when Mikan began to slowly braid her hair. She suppressed it quickly. 

 

“I-I’m s-still s-sorry. I k-know you h-hate i-it here,” Mikan continued. Junko clenched her teeth. 

 

“It’s definitely not my favorite place to be,” she admitted. “But I don’t mind being in here with you.” Her face warmed at her words. Fuck. “I mean, if I was stuck in here alone it’d be worse. It’s nice to have company, that’s all,” she corrected. Mikan giggled. It wasn’t nervous this time; it was genuine. 

 

“T-Thank y-you.”

 

Mikan finished up her hair and pinned up her braids. Junko opened her eyes and looked back at the nurse. She was smiling. Junko felt herself smile back against her better judgement. 

 

“D-Do y-you want t-to see?,” Mikan asked sweetly. Junko nodded. She waited patiently while Mikan dug around in her messy bag for her mirror. She held it out nervously to Junko with the smile still on her face. Junko opened the pocket mirror and almost gasped. 

 

Mikan had woven little fake flowers into the braids of her hair. She hadn’t even felt them. It was…really pretty. Despite looking ill, she looked pretty. Her lips quivered as her smile widened. 

 

“Mikan…this looks really, really beautiful,” she spoke breathlessly. Tears sprung up in the corners of her eyes. She blinked them away and handed Mikan the mirror back. The nurse’s face was bright red as she accepted the mirror and tucked it back into her bag. 

 

“ _ Y-You’re  _ v-very pr-pretty, Junko,” Mikan mumbled nervously. Junko felt her face warm. She looked away and laid back down in bed. 

 

“I know. I’m a model, of course I’m pretty,” she snipped bitterly. She heard Mikan squeak nervously as she stood up from the bed. Junko immediately regretted it. But she didn’t say anything. 

 

“I-I’m s-so-sorry!,” Mikan squeaked. Junko heard her shoes squeak away as she walked away from the bed and to the bathroom. Junko closed her eyes and scrunched up her nose. God. 

 

She was such a bitch. 

 

Her heart ached when she heard Mikan come out of the bathroom. A chill ran down her spine. She craned her head over to look at the nurse. Mikan was heading for the door. 

 

“W-Where are you going?,” Junko asked, her voice nervous. More nervous than she wanted. Was she leaving because of her? Mikan flinched at her words. She looked over at Junko and smiled. It didn’t reach her eyes. 

 

“I-I h-have to g-go t-to my dorm r-really f-fast,” she explained. “I-I’ll be r-right b-back, okay?” Junko bit her lips and nodded. She wanted to cry. She didn’t want to be alone. What if something happened to her? She didn’t even have her phone. 

 

She watched as Mikan walked out the door. 

 

And she cried. 

 

She turned over in bed and curled up on her side. Heavy sobs left her as she squeezed her eyes shut. She was so stupid. Such a bitch. 

 

Her thoughts kept moving too fast. 

 

Stupid. 

 

Bitch. 

 

Pathetic. 

 

Worthless. 

 

Fake. 

 

Fake. 

 

Fake. 

 

She grabbed her pillow and screamed as loud as she could into it. She burst into a coughing fit. Her chest heaved painfully as she hacked and wheezed into her pillow. Junko took a few gasping breaths as she sobbed. 

 

She needed to do something. 

 

Needed to do something. 

 

Anything. 

 

But a wave of exhaustion prevented her from doing anything. 

 

She slumped down against the bed and passed out. 

 

———-

 

**Fever Dream: Six Years Ago**

 

_ Being homeless was somehow better than living where they did.  _

 

_ Mukuro had gotten better. Healthier.  _

 

_ She didn’t know how.  _

 

_ They both barely ate anymore. But Junko has given Mukuro any food she had managed to steal or find.  _

 

_ Junko stood in front of the mirror in the service station bathroom and cringed at the pair of scissors in her hand.  _

 

_ Having long hair wasn’t practical.  _

 

_ Mukuro had already cut her hair off. She looked up at Junko from her spot on the floor with a sympathetic expression.  _

 

_ “Do you want me to do it, Junko?,” she asked plainly. Junko nodded and handed her the scissors.  _

 

_ “Just make it fast, please,” Junko pleaded. She closed her eyes as her sister stood behind her with the scissors. She felt her hair fall away with each quick snap of the scissors. Tears welled in the corner of her eyes as her head grew lighter. She didn’t want to lose her hair.  _

 

_ But it was better than having lice.  _

 

_ “Okay, I’m done,” Mukuro spoke after forever. Junko opened her eyes and cringed at her reflection. Her own dark hair was all over the sink and her skin. She ran a hand over her scalp. It was choppy and uneven. She held her hand out for the scissors.  _

 

_ “You missed some spots,” Junko grumbled. She took the scissors and snipped away at the spots Mukuro had missed. She wiped the scissors off on her shirt and tucked them into her backpack. She felt her sister’s hand on her shoulder. Junko looked up at Mukuro and was eased by her calm smile.  _

 

_ “You still look pretty,” Mukuro assured. Junko scoffed and threw her bag over her shoulder.  _

 

_ “You’re a liar,” Junko protested bitterly. She watched as Mukuro adjusted their father’s jacket over her shoulders before the exited the bathroom.  _

 

_ The jacket was the only good thing they’d ever gotten from their father.  _

 

_ Junko threw up the hood of her jacket as they walked through the service station. Junko swiped a few snacks on the way out unseen. The cashier gave them a few looks, but turned away when Mukuro returned his looks with a few of her own.  _

 

_ They stepped out into the cold air. Junko shuddered and handed Mukuro one of the snacks.  _

 

_ “Here.” Mukuro accepted it and tucked it into the leather jacket.  _

 

_ “I didn’t even see you take it,” Mukuro praised. Junko rolled her eyes.  _

 

_ “It’s because I’m good at it. Come on, I’m cold,” she mumbled. She smiled as Mukuro’s arm wrapped around her as they walked through the busy streets back to their ‘home.’ The abandoned house was drafty and not a suitable environment for anyone to live in, but it was better than being out on the street in the cold.  _

 

_ She felt Mukuro tense as they walked up to the house.  _

 

_ Police everywhere.  _

 

_ Junko stopped in her tracks. Mukuro gently pulled her along as they walked by the house. People were being yanked out one by one. Junko recognized most of the vagrants.  _

 

_ Some of them had blood on them.  _

 

_ One of the officers caught Mukuro looking and waved them off.  _

 

_ “Go on, you don’t need to see this!,” he ordered them. Junko swallowed hard as Mukuro pulled her along past the house.  _

 

_ Where were they going to sleep now? _

 

_ Junko’s legs began to ache as they continued their trek through the town. She was so tired. And hungry.  _

 

_ She almost missed home.  _

 

_ But she knew they couldn’t ever go back.  _

 

_ Mukuro noticed her fatigue and sat down with them outside of a drugstore. Junko leaned her head against her sisters shoulder as her cold fingers opened the pack of pretzels. She ate them slowly, fingers trembling and numb from the cold. She needed to steal a pair of gloves soon. _

 

_ The drugstore door opened, and a mother and daughter walked out. The mother was yanking her daughter along by her arm. The little girl was covered in bruises and had horribly choppy hair. Junko felt her heart break looking at her.  _

 

_ The little girl looked back at her as her mother let go of her arm.  _

 

_ “I need to go next door. Meet me back at home. Don’t be a minute late,” the mother spat as she walked by them. She scoffed at their appearance as the flung the door opened to the liquor store next to the drugstore. The little girl whimpered and held her bag close to her chest. She locked eyes with Junko as she shivered from the cold.  _

 

_ “Y-Your f-fingers a-are b-bleeding,” the little girl observed. Junko’s eyes traveled down to her fingers. They were so dry and cracked from the cold that the skin had split. Mukuro narrowed her eyes at the girl when she dug around in her bag and handed her a box of band aids. “H-Here. S-So you don’t g-get an infe-infection.” Mukuro took the band aids and gave the girl a nod.  _

 

_ “Thank you,” her sister spoke for her. The little girl smiled nervously and nodded.   _

 

_ “Do you get hurt a lot?,” Junko asked bluntly, motioning to her bruises. The little girl squeaked and hugged the bag closed to her chest.  _

 

_ “Y-Yes! I-I f-fall a lot, I’m s-so clumsy. M-Mommy h-has t-to take me h-here a-all the t-time!,” she responded quickly. Junko narrowed her eyes.  _

 

_ The marks her scarf couldn’t cover up didn’t look like she’d fallen.  _

 

_ “A-Aren’t y-your h-hands cold?,” the little girl asked meekly. Junko looked down at her shaking hands and shrugged.  _

 

_ “We can’t afford gloves. I’m fine,” she protested. Her eyes widened when the little girl took off her gloves and handed them to Junko. Mukuro’s eyes widened as well. Junko looked up at the girls face. She now noticed the band aids that adorned her sweet face. She had really pretty eyes as well, almost like a lavender flower.  _

 

_ “T-Take them. Y-You mu-must be s-so cold,” she offered. Junko swallowed hard and held the pink gloves in her lap.  _

 

_ “Won’t you get in trouble And won't _  you  _be cold_ ?” _ The little girl giggled nervously.  _

 

_ “I-I’m al-always in trouble,” she admitted. “A-And you n-need them a-anyways! I-I'm n-not th-that cold!” The door next to them opened and the little girl flinched. “I-I have t-to go! I-I hope t-they h-help!,” she squeaked as she scurried away.  _

 

_ Junko watched as the little girl stumbled over her feet and almost tripped on her shoelaces. The woman emerged from the store was an arm full of bags from the liquor store. Junko tucked the gloves into her pocket as she eyed the woman angrily.  _

 

_ That little girl was like her.  _

 

_ That woman was a monster.  _

 

_ Mukuro tightened her grip around her sister as the woman shot them a dirty look. Her lips curled up in a snarl as the woman walked past without a word.  _

 

_ When she was gone, Mukuro opened the box of pink band aids and helped patch up Junko’s fingers. Junko turned her trembling hands over and smiled weakly. She took out the gloves and slid them over her hands. They immediately felt warm. They smelled of antiseptic ointment and a hint of citrus.  _

 

_ They kept her warm through the cold months.  _

 

_ And she didn’t even tell her thank you.  _

 

_ She wished she would’ve.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pwease review,,, my gorls are so sad,,,,

**Author's Note:**

> yyyyyeeeeahhh boy please review this shit if you can


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